How to Win Back the One You Love
When a loved one breaks up with you, the first thing you want to do is win her back. However, you must make patience your best friend because if you want him back, timing and a calm demeanor are important. Here is one possible way to win back the one you love.
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Instructions
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Winning Back Your Love
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Start with being a good sport when you are dumped. Once the initial shock has cleared, you need to breathe deeply and concentrate on listening and responding honestly. Hold back the urge to yell and to make the other person your enemy. If you are hurt, you can tell her in a calm and even tone.
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Leave the breakup site and immediately call a friend or relative who will help you make good decisions. A drunken phone call or a hookup with someone else could make reconciliation unlikely.
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Wait two weeks before you call your significant other. This will give you time to calm down and think about what you can improve in the relationship if you reconcile. "How could she do this?" is a much less productive question than "What can I do differently?"
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Make a list of at least 20 things you can improve and circle the five most important to the relationship. For example, you can list that you are committed to listening better. Write down three actionable steps to achieve each of the five circled items. Memorize these five improvements, the action steps and have a good understanding of the ideas on your list.
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Call him after the two weeks have passed and ask to meet at a place of his choosing within the next week. If you get an answering machine, simply tell her you called and ask her to call you back. If he is resistant, tell him you've had more time to think about what he said and you would like a chance to respond in person.
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Stay calm and confident when you meet. Do not initiate any displays of affection. Make small talk to try to catch up with her. When you're ready, ask if you can talk about "what you said" as opposed to saying "about us" or "about the relationship."
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Apologize for a few of the five major changeable things you came up with and tell him your action steps. Say that you are committed to improving. Suppress any frustration if you are interrupted and avoid the desire to be defensive. Let her have a chance to respond.
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Resort to your other 15 points that you could improve upon and let him respond to those as well.
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Ask if you can go a few times so she can see that you intend to be a better partner. If he agrees, enjoy these dates and work to improve. If not, pick up the tab (if you ate), thank your ex and be patient for opportunities in the future to show her that you can improve your part of the relationship.
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Tips & Warnings
During the two-week waiting period, spend time with friends, complete a project you've been meaning to do or take some time to write your thoughts.
If your significant other is resistant to ever speaking or talking to you again, it may take a great deal of time for you to get back in his good graces.
References
Resources
- Photo Credit Wikimedia Commons
