How to Deal with a Bisexual Spouse

Having a spouse come out to you as bisexual or bicurious can be a challenging obstacle in any marriage. This guide is designed to help you come to terms with the person you fell in love with during their indefinite need of your love, acceptance and support.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Love
• Tolerance
• Patience

1. 
    

   Love them. Whether or not you decide to follow the rest of this guide, this is the most important step. Your spouse has made a very difficult decision in coming out to you. They aren't asking to explore their sexual fantasies or for free reign to stray from you. They are asking you for unconditional love. They want to know that even though they have made a decision that you don't necessarily agree with, you still love them. No matter where your relationship evolves or devolves from here, make sure they know that you love and support them.

2. 
    

   Decide where you stand on the bisexual issue. This is probably the hardest step in this guide. You basically have to decide whether you are for or against bisexuality in general, whether you want your spouse to act on his/her sexual fantasies, and the biggest decision of all - whether or not your spouse and you are going to be married. There are several religious qualms about sexuality and its practices and/or ideas. Push these aside for now. You have to decide for yourself whether or not YOU are okay with bisexuality. If you decide you're not okay with it, you have two options: 1) Bear with a difficult marriage, loving and supporting your spouse through this new decision in their life, or 2) End the relationship. Should you choose the latter, this guide's future is of no use to you.

3. 
    

   Accept that just because your spouse is bisexual does not mean that they love you any less. In fact, one could say it is quite the opposite and that you can now find that they love you more. Instead of beating out one gender to win the love of your spouse, you've now beaten out two. Your spouse's love for you will continue as it always has. If something does change, it will be due to some other marital change...not this one.

4. 
    

   Have fun with it! If you are more open sexually, watch him/her play with a friend that you both find mutually attractive. If you're not, then buy her a love doll so she can play with it or get yourself a strap-on to show him what it feels like to be the wife for once. This is not a time for your sex life to fall apart. If anything, this is a time for both your romance and sexuality to flourish. Always remember, the more open-minded you are in the ways of the world, the more open-minded you'll be in the bedroom.

5. 
    

   Support them. Sometimes, coming out as a bisexual can be difficult. You'll find that people on both sides of sexuality hate these open-minded people. Celebrate their bisexuality. If they're unashamed of it, so should you be. Don't hide their sexuality away from your friends in fear of embarrassment. Announce it proudly. They are your spouse and no one can take their place.

Tips & Warnings

• Be honest and open in all your fantasies as well. With both of you sharing everything about yourselves, this is the perfect opportunity for your love and marriage to bloom profoundly.
• Allowing any spouse, whether heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual, to engage in any sexual activity can result in jealousy, divorce or sexually-transmitted diseases. Tread lightly when exploring.

[askanna]

on 10/17/2009 Interesting article on a complicated subject. Thanks for tackling a difficult topic!

[soniaciroc]

on 10/17/2009 Excellent article dealing with a difficult issue. Thank you for writing it.