How to Stop Acting Out

Children are well known for acting on their impulses, also known as “acting out,” but as we get older, we are expected to stop functioning like “walking ids” and to figure out ways to hold our most destructive impulses in check.

Unfortunately, some people struggle with acting out or acting on impulse well into adulthood and it can get them into quite a bit of trouble if they are not careful. The good news is that impulsive behavior can be curbed or even stopped, provided you are determined to replace acting out behavior with more mature and socially acceptable behavior.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Recognize the consequences that your impulsive actions have had throughout your life. For instance, has your impulsive behavior adversely affected your relationships with your friends and family members? Has acting on impulse prevented you from getting (or keeping) a job that you really wanted (or liked)? Once you start to acknowledge the damage that your acting out behavior has caused in your life, you are more likely to get serious about modifying and improving your behavior.

2. Increase your level of self awareness. The more self aware you can become, the better you will be able to understand and learn how to manage your thoughts and behaviors. Impulsive individuals often do not think before they act, but you are going to train yourself to think prior to taking any action.

3. Take several deep breaths any time you feel like you are about to act on impulse and do something that you will come to regret later. Use this period of deep breathing to calm your nerves, gather your thoughts, and stop yourself from acting out. Non-action (accompanied by calming deep breathing) is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal when trying to curb impulsive behavior.

4. Sit on your hands until the urge to act out subsides. It may sound silly, but sitting on your hands is a rather powerful symbolic gesture you can use to prove to yourself that you are holding yourself in check and fighting your impulses. By taking such a literal action (sitting on your hands) you are sending yourself a clear and unmistakable signal not to act right now, but to sit perfectly still and take control of your own behavior. There is enormous personal power to be found in learning how to sit still and manage your own impulsive behaviors.

Tips & Warnings

• Reward yourself in healthy, non-impulsive ways each time you win a significant battle against acting out or caving in to your impulses. What are some healthy rewards that you can give yourself? You could grab a bite to eat with a good friend or take a leisurely walk or go to a Yoga class, just to name a few.