How to Repair a Damaged Relationship

Important relationships must be cared for and nurtured if they are to survive and thrive. On occasion, since we all have vices, we inadvertently injure those that we love or care about. In some cases, we purposefully weaken our relationships through selfishness, unchecked anger, or neglect. Whatever the case may be, the damage must be repaired, and the relationship needs to be strengthened. If you feel you need help repairing a relationship that is important to you, this article will tell you where to start, what to expect, and how to avoid causing further damage.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. 1

   Think outside of yourself. If you are striving to create and maintain a healthy relationship, you'll need to be motivated by a true regard for the feelings of your loved one rather than your own pride or your won needs. If you are thinking only of yourself, you are not ready to begin yet, and you will probably cause further damage if you continue the relationship.

2. 2

   Recognize your mistakes and bad choices. This may not always be obvious. It is sometimes hard to see how our actions affect those that we love, especially if the relationship is with someone of the opposite sex. You can do some reading about relationships or about the opposite sex, but the best way to understand your spouse, friend, sibling, parent, or child is to talk to them directly. Calmly and sincerely ask them to tell you how they are feeling. Don't become defensive though. You'll need to be a great listener, and a gentle and persistent interrogator to get to the root of the issue. Be perceptive too and try to read between the lines. Most people are not comfortable opening up to someone who has hurt them in the past. Do not go to a third party trying to get "inside" information. This will only further erode trust and weaken your relationship more.

3. 3

   Change your behavior. Apologies are meaningless unless they are accompanied by actions. Rent the movie "Fireproof" for good example of an apology coupled with a comprehensive change in actions.

4. 4

   Be patient. Wounds take time to heal. Remember to focus on the needs of the other person, not you won gratification or your own need for approval. If you are a true and faithful friend or companion, and if your loved one is capable of being part of a healthy relationship, eventually the walls will come down and bridges will be re-built.

Tips & Warnings

• Be willing to forgive yourself, as well as others. Any healthy relationship is a two-way street.