How to Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend

Reconciling with an ex girlfriend is not an easy task to complete, however, this article outlines the steps that worked for me in getting back together with my ex after she moved 175 miles away. We are now happily married.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Confidence
• Sincerity
• Upbeat Attitude
• Mysteriousness
• Positive Mental Attitude
• Faith

1. 
    
   Stop ALL Contact!

   The first step you need to take in this long journey is stop contacting your ex. This includes phone calls, voice mails, text messages, emails, MySpace and Facebook messages, and any other type of contact you may have with them. You have nothing to say at this point in time that will help your cause in getting your ex girlfriend back. You will only hurt your chances.

2. 
    
   Make a List

   The second step, which can begin simultaneously with step one, is to begin taking an inventory of yourself. Answer the question "What is the real reason why you and your ex girlfriend are not together?" Think back over your entire relationship. What things was your ex telling or saying to you while you were still together? Were you too controlling? Did you have a drinking problem? Did you not spend enough quality time with her? Make out a list of everything you can remember her "complaining" about then rank them in order of how you perceive them as being important to her.

3. 
    
   Help Yourself

   Once you have a list of your shortcomings in the relationship, begin to understand how you can overcome them. Take time to self reflect and realize how you can and will handle things differently in the future. Also get out of the house and do something fun that you didn't feel like you could do when you were in your relationship.

4. 
    
   Be Upbeat

   After a few days of not contacting your ex, wait for them to contact you. If they try to contact you within the first few days of you ceasing contact, do not answer or respond. Gauge the importance of what they say by any voice mails or messages they leave or send you. After a few days, you may then answer a call or respond to a message by asking what they want. Do this very politely, just like you would any "FRIEND." More then likely at this point, they will have some questions for you like what you have been up to and what's been going on. Be very vague, and be very up beat. As far as the ex girlfriend needs to know, you've been busy and overall in a great mood.

5. 
    

   During this time, don't be afraid to get out and meet new people. It will boost your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your desirability to your ex. The key here is DO NOT start dating someone else. But going out to lunch or for drinks with another female will begin to touch on emotions and feelings that your ex may not have previously thought about. She will have to decide if she is willing to lose you to another woman. This has to be done with consideration on your part. Remember to not do anything that you wouldn't be proud to let your ex girlfriend know about.

6. 
    

   At some point your ex will want to talk to you on a deeper level, possibly about your past relationship. Let her know that as far as you are concerned the "old" relationship is over, however, you would be open to discussing a "new" relationship. Let her know what YOU are looking for in a relationship, where you went wrong in the old relationship, and then listen very carefully to what she says and validate her feelings. Doing this shows you do care about her feelings, as you well should if you want to truly get back together with her.

7. Finally, come to a mutual decision if you want to be back together. This may be a week or two after you split up, or it could be a couple months. If you have incredibly strong feelings for your ex, chances are they still do also. If you have messed up horribly by cheating or lying when you were still together, let your ex know that you are truly sorry and are remorseful for what you have done. Also, if you two are talking about getting back together, ask what you can do to regain their trust. Doing so will display your willingness to work on what was wrong previously.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient. Even when you think all is lost and you need to take action, DON'T! Wait for your ex to contact you. This lets you know they're still thinking about you and it places the ball in your court.
• Be upbeat. Who wants to be with someone who is moping around or seems depressed all the time? Nobody!
• Be honest about how you feel when the time is right.
• Say less then your ex does when you do speak to them. This lessens the chance of you saying something wrong and lets your ex tell you how they are feeling.
• Do NOT bring up the relationship, ever! Let your ex be the one to bring it up, and the first time or two they do so, tell them you don't want to talk about it right now. It's all in the past and you are working on becoming a better person.
• Do NOT ask what they have been doing! Act like you don't care. Asking them questions is almost as bad as accusing them of doing something wrong.
• Do NOT get upset in front of your ex girlfriend. This will be a reminder of what they didn't like in the old relationship.