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Step 1
If you are too overwhelmed with emotion, don’t do it. If you are too upset to even think properly, you won’t be able to write a coherent eulogy. Be honest about your emotional state. It’s better to not write a eulogy than to write something that barely makes sense, or is so filled with raw emotion that it is upsetting to read.
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Step 2
Make it personal. The best eulogies are the ones that tell personal stories about the deceased. Think of some events that really sum up the person, to show what that person was all about. If you don’t know any, talk to the person’s friends or family to get some personal stories.
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Step 3
Use humor. Yes, humor. A eulogy doesn’t have to be unrelentingly sad. Many times eulogies are read at the end of a funeral service, and the congregation is grateful for a chance to laugh. A funny anecdote from the deceased’s life is often a way to celebrate the positive aspects of that person’s life. Make sure you don’t go overboard, though, and turn the eulogy into a standup comedy performance, or use humor that is inappropriate.
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Step 4
Keep your own emotions in check. Eulogies are not an opportunity to settle scores or bring up old grudges. Do not say anything inflammatory, about the deceased, their family, or anyone else connected with them. Don’t try to be their advocate, or explain why they did this or that. The time for that is over.
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Step 5
End on a high note. There is always some sunshine in every life, and a good eulogy will celebrate that sunshine. End your eulogy with something uplifting about the deceased’s life, a last picture that will stay in people’s memories.
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Step 6
Read it to someone you trust. We all need a good editor when we write something, and writing a eulogy is no different. Because your emotions are involved, you need someone else’s opinion of what you’ve written before you print the final draft. Feedback from a third party will help to keep things in perspective.
Comments
sanderdoe said
on 10/7/2009 I wrote the service and performed it for both of my parents. You are right, it is challenging and emotional but I did it because they asked me to and in the end I'm very glad I did. 5* & R Great article!
gentletouch said
on 10/1/2009 EULOGY'S ARE VERBAL TESTIMONIES OF HOW YOU: FELT, MISS, AND WHAT KIND OF IMPACT THAT INDIVIDUAL MADE ON YOU. WONDERFULLY WRITTEN. 5* BLESSINGS, gentletouch
askanna said
on 10/1/2009 Excellent article. Well written and thoughtful. Thank your for sharing your insight and wisdom!
pnstlion said
on 9/30/2009 I never had to do this but I'm sure one day I will. Thanks for a nice write up on a topic that will certainly help me one day.
gbabyevans said
on 9/30/2009 I wrote for my mom's funeral. It was very hard, but I held it together. Several tears, but even more laughter... that is how she would have wanted it. Great article... but even more so, thank you for making me think of my mom!! Oh, how I miss her. 5*s