How to Understand & Attract Men
Many sources would tell you that the key to attracting a man is, simply, dangling the possibility of sex in front of him. Obviously, there is much more to every human---man or woman---than their desire for sex. Understanding a man and attracting him will take more than dousing yourself in perfume and wearing a low-cut shirt. Unless you want to attract someone who is interested only in sex, start with understanding yourself and your relationship desires.
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Instructions
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Develop confidence: Think about your attraction to someone else. Does that person constantly need affirmation? Does that person feel sheepish or unimportant? Probably not. Just as you are likely attracted to a man who loves himself, your first step in attracting a man is to love you. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself, including physical attributes and personality traits. Then, spend some quality time with yourself doing the things that make you you. Explore your favorite memories, engage in activities you love, commit to an art project or plan a weekend trip. The better you understand yourself, the more likely you are to know what you want in a relationship and from a partner. Fall in love with yourself so that you don't have to rely on someone else to make you feel great. Your inner radiance from self-love will do more than any mascara could to seduce a man.
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Read about relationships: Many popular guides to attracting men are based on sexual attraction and sexual techniques, including "Passionista: An Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasing a Man" by Ian Kerner and "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man," by Py Kim. Conant. Save these books for step 5. For now, read books about sustaining your self-love regardless of the relationship you are in, like "Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart," by John Welwood. Also, read books about the differences between men and women, such as "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation," by Deborah Tannen. These books will help you learn more about yourself and what to expect from a relationship with a man. For example, Tannen is an expert on the differences in how men and women communicate. Arming yourself with the knowledge will help ease misunderstandings that arise during your adventures in understanding and attracting a man.
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Meet a man with common interests: Do not rely on plastic surgery or Zsa Zsa Gabor's advice: "The best way to attract a man immediately is to have a magnificent bosom and a half-size brain and let both of them show." Instead, join a club or take a class at a community college or art studio. Take the first step and ask someone in your class out to lunch or dinner. To be attractive, be yourself! The man you ask will likely already be attracted to the fact that you have something in common with him.
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Accumulate knowledge: During the course of dating, be open to learning about yourself and your male partner. To really understand a man, use the insights about yourself from step 1, your general knowledge about relationships from step 2, and, now, your experience in a relationship.
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Make it work: When your dating turns into a relationship (maybe not with the very first guy you ask out, but somewhere down the road), continue to educate yourself and your male partner about differences and how to get beyond these differences. When you have secured yourself as a strong, independent person in a relationship with another strong, independent person, you can focus on the more physical expressions of your feelings for each other. Read up on sexual techniques and experiment with sexuality at your comfort level.
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References
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