How to Date a Man During a Divorce
It is never easy to even consider dating when going through a divorce. If you are leaving as a result of abuse, it surely isn't advisable, for obvious safety reasons. However, if you feel free to date, there are definite guidelines you should follow during this time in your life. You'll want to adhere to a certain protocol in order to protect yourself legally and emotionally. And if there are children involved, you'll need to be careful to guard their feelings as well.
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Instructions
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Be honest. Your date should understand from the get-go that you are still legally married. This way, if your relationship with someone you date turns into something more later, there will be no surprises to endanger it later. After all, it's just dating, not husband-shopping. Honesty works in your favor.
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Use discretion. It is imperative that you be discreet while still going through your divorce. This will protect you legally, possibly physically in the case of an abusive or jealous spouse, and emotionally. Don't allow your date to pick you up at your place, or vice versa. After all, you're not searching for a new husband right now---so keep it casual and meet at restaurants or museums.
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Keep a low profile. When choosing where to meet, make sure that it isn't a popular spot or one that friends you made during the marriage or his family members frequent. They're bound to let it leak to your husband that they saw you on a date, and this form of indiscretion could cost you greatly in the courtroom---especially if child custody is thrown into the mix.
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Guard your heart. You shouldn't be on the prowl for a new husband while you work through the hurts and issues of your marriage. Take your time, and again, keep it casual. You may feel the need for male companionship, but don't start doodling your name and his last name on napkins in your leisure time. Building a strong friendship with a man is much more rewarding than jumping into the Love Boat too fast, only to be hurt later.
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Keep it platonic. The worst thing you can do during a divorce is take your dating life to the next level. First of all, you probably aren't emotionally ready. Secondly, you can never be positive that others won't find out. Adultery is not something you need to hear about in the courtroom.
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Tips & Warnings
It is a good idea to wait until the divorce is final before dating. The effects of dating on your emotional well-being can be detrimental, as you try to heal from the hurts of your marriage. Dating during a divorce can turn an amicable process into a long, expensive ordeal if the soon-to-be ex becomes jealous or spiteful. It could also greatly effect your parental rights.
