How to Decide Whether to Go on a Third Date

You made it past the first and second dates. Now it's time to decide: Is this worth pursuing?

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Assess the relationship. Who is making the plans? Is it both of you or just one of you? Are the decisions truly mutual?

2. How interested are you? You probably don't know each other very well yet, but are you beginning to feel comfortable with this person? Can you talk about some of your thoughts and feelings?

3. Does he or she seem interested in you?

4. Think about your shared interests. Do you have any of the same hobbies? Do you enjoy the same kinds of weekend activities?

5. Take note of your differences. Some can be a problem, while others may add interest. Do you have fun listening to his fishing stories, even though you'd never go yourself? That's a good sign. Are you put off by her vocal political opinions? Better forgo the third date.

6. Do your conversations keep getting more interesting? Or are you already running out of things to talk about?

7. Do you talk on the phone apart from setting up dates?

8. Have you seen any signs of psychological gamesmanship? If so, don't continue this unless you really enjoy the abuse.

9. Were you thanked on the first two dates? Regardless of who paid, it's nice to know that someone appreciated spending time with you.

10. How comfortable would you be meeting his or her parents? That may tell you a lot about how well you're clicking.

Tips & Warnings

• If you decide to go on a third date, make sure to take it slow. Even though all the signs are looking positive, you need time to get to know each other better before getting serious.
• If you decide against a third date, be firm and respectful in letting the other person know. Treat him or her the way you would like to be treated in this situation.

on 2/15/2006 It is easy to decide to go on a third date if you can imagine being with them. If you can't, it is time to move on.

on 11/22/2005 I think it is better to just tell someone you are not interested than give them the big run around, or go out again with someone you aren't interested in. I say something to the effect of "You are a nice person but I just don't think we have enough in common to go out again." I think it is very unkind to make negative comments on the person's appearance or personality in explaining why the answer is no. I especially dislike it when someone says they will call without any intention of ever doing it, and I do not tell someone to call me again unless I mean it.

on 11/22/2005 If the thought of him or her makes you smile, go for it!