How to Impress a Woman

What do women really want?

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Breath Fresheners
• Cologne

1. Ask her about herself, her ambitions, her life. Be interested. It's a rare woman who wants to sit around all night listening to a man talk about himself. And the more you try to impress her with your tales of adventure, the less impressed she'll be.
2. Be presentable. Women are notorious accessorizers, and whether she'll admit it to you or not, you are an accessory. Other women will judge her on her choice. A clean, good-smelling man with well-fitting clothes is a real prize.
3. Make eye contact. A lot. And smile - in a friendly way. Don't leer.
4. Be a gentleman. It's a myth that chivalry is dead, right? There are just a few women out there messing it up for the rest of us who really do like to have doors held open for us.
5. Learn to dance. Women will flock to you - all of them will be impressed.
6. Be funny without being crude. It's an art.
7. Compliment her. Notice her shoes or her watch - something that shows you're paying attention. We'll change our clothes six times before we leave the house; it's nice to find someone who appreciates the final choice.
8. It's hard for a woman not to be impressed with a man who is impressed with her. If you really like her, tell her so. You don't have to make a big deal about it, just let her know you admire her.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't stare at her - or other women.
• Don't guide her around a room. The hand-on-the-elbow steering technique is very annoying. The hand-on-the-small-of-the-back technique is usually too intimate.