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Step 1
Don't: Compare them to others.
Never hold your child up to unrealistically high standards of performance or compare them to others (including siblings!), for to do so breeds disappointment, jealousy, envy and backbiting, as well as self-pity, scarcity thinking and looking outward for success. -
Step 2
Do: Celebrate your child's uniqueness.
Recognize and validate your children's gifts, talents, and abilities---what they are best at and most enjoy---and help develop and maximize them to the fullest. Be your children's greatest cheerleader. -
Step 3
Don't: Ignore red flags.
Get your children professional help if your child exhibits unhealthy or self-destructive behavior patterns. Take them to a therapist or counselor so they can overcome their psychological or emotional difficulties. -
Step 4
Do: Focus on what's working.
Emphasize your children's strengths, on what they're doing right, not what they're doing wrong. Celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small. Give them credit where credit is due. Praise them often but accurately. -
Step 5
Don't: Live in the past.
Remember that your children are constantly growing and changing. Stay current and be interested in who your children are today---not who they were years ago. -
Step 6
Do: Encourage them to develop their interests.
Find out what your children love to do, what makes their hearts sing. Take them to clubs or afterschool groups for those activities. Tell them they should use their gifts and pursue what they enjoy in life. -
Step 7
Don't: Be afraid to let go.
Trust them enough to allow them to be their own people and make their own mistakes. Let them spread their wings and fly. If they fall, help them to get back up and to learn from their disappointments. Train them to be mature adults who are competent and capable of being on their own in the world. -
Step 8
Do: Teach them to be responsible for themselves and their decisions.
Give them chores and allowances so they learn about contributing their fair share and also about being financially responsible. Educate them about money and decision-making in an atmosphere of fun and learning, never from a place of shame and guilt. -
Step 9
Don't: Be too serious.
Remember to play have a sense of humor about things. Laugh at yourself and your children will learn to "not sweat the small stuff" and that they can be happy and self-confident in their lives no matter what. -
Step 10
Do: Be a positive role model.
Be an example, since children learn best what they see right in front of them. Cultivate your own self of self-confidence, because if you have high self-esteem, you will tend to have kids with high self-esteem, whereas if you don't, you will likely have kids with low-esteem as well.
