Things You'll Need:
- A note pad and pen (take notes).
- a hat.
- something odd to carry with you. (pair of ski's, carton of eggs, phonebook, etc.)
- dress in a suit.
- the first thing that pops into your mind is usually the best choice.
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Step 1
Daily Exercise. You need to Exercise saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Practice often, daily, at any time and anywhere. Key: Being heard.
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Step 2
While speaking, sometimes wild and exaggerated hand gestures make what you say, a quasi-action. This increases the likelihood of you being seen as an idiot. Key: Being seen.
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Step 3
Appearance is everything. Consider wearing loud colors that clash, like neon green socks, red button down satin shirt, (think Pirate shirts), or you could go subtle, and wear neutrals, but polish it by putting sliced onions in every pocket. Being annoying to look at or be near.
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Step 4
Your social skills: Social skills are the most important step in this career. Everything that was taught to you in terms of thinking about other people first must be thrown out the window. Thinking of others is not what being a professional idiot consists of. Your devotion to this career is of utmost necessity if you wish to be the very best at it.
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Step 5
Politics: Talk about politics around the clock. Become a clammoring, blithering, non-stop idiot. Pick one side, party, delegate, candidate, and adhere to them with extreme and unbridled enthusiasm. Now, to do this properly, you must never question this person ever.
When it comes to the opposing side of the spectrum, you must know nothing about which they stand for or believe in and oppose it vehemently. Never, you must never take a violent stance. You should however oppose them verbally, without wane, and very loudly. One must use the volume of your voice without thought of others. -
Step 6
Beliefs: Some people see the world as black and white in terms of ideas, theories and beliefs. You must believe in all of them, and oppose all of them. Never take sides. Never have one driving beleif except that of being an idiot. It also helps to believe every crazed theory of conspiracy.
