How to Receive Love

I have a friend who I have known for years. We have been neighbors, spent hours together, been on adventures together and shared our most secret secrets. We care about each other tremendously, and we are, essentially, family. In spite of all this, whenever I say to my friend, "I love you," he cringes. It is very hard for him to receive love. I can relate though. In the past I got into big fights with boyfriends because when they said, "I love you," I responded with, "No you don't." Isn't it sad how hard it is for us to receive love when it comes our way? It is my hope that these tips will help you overcome your feelings of being unlovable and show you how to receive love.

Instructions

1. Believe that you are lovable. It is sad that we are given so many reasons to hate ourselves in our society: not rich enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, not famous enough, just simply not good enough. Remember, there is no perfect person. We all have flaws, and we are all still worthy of love despite those flaws.

2. When somebody says, "I love you," listen and fully absorb the meaning behind those words. For many of us, our innate response to receiving love, "No," because--whether consciously or subconsciously--many of us believe that we are unlovable. Thus we go about trying to prove that we are unlovable by denying, belittling, dismissing or ignoring anybody who expresses love toward us. You can begin to break this pattern simply by listening and being open to expressions of love that are directed your way.

3. Hold your body open and ready to receive love. Most of us walk around with what I call "modern caveman posture." You know the look. It's hunched shoulders, dropping chins and eyes looking toward the ground, and it comes from spending too much time in front of our computer screens and handheld devices. Modern caveman posture collapses the chest and keeps your heart closed. Your body simply cannot receive love when you've got posture like this, so open your body and your heart by rolling your shoulders back, raising your chin up and bringing your eyes forward.

4. Learn to recognize acts of love. Everybody expresses love differently. Some people give compliments, some write eloquent love letters, some cuddle, some perform practical acts like vacuuming your car while you were away at work. Learn to interpret how your loved ones express their love for you. Then, be sure to accept their loving gesture.

5. Be open to love in all its forms. Don't put "shoulds" on love. Don't be only open to love when it comes from the exact person you want in the exact way that you want. Say to yourself, "I am open to all the love that comes my way in all its various forms."

6. Don't be afraid. Don't withdraw. Don't sabotage love. Be brave. Be open. Be tender.

7. Give love first and return what is given. You know what they say about love: It's like a magic penny and the more you give, the more you get.

Resources

• Live Extraordinary