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Step 1
First you need to explain the divorce to your child in terms, that don't put children in the middle of the dispute, and then tell your child how the information relates to them. For example, you might start by explaining that, as they have probably noticed, mommy and daddy have been having a difficult time getting along lately and that you both think it might be better for everyone if you begin living separately. Immediately follow this by telling your child that even though mommy and daddy are angry at each other, you both still love your child very, very much.
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Step 2
Find support for your child from outside the family. This is especially important if the divorce gets messy. If you can afford a child therapist or psychologist, that is great; however, if not, the school therapist will work just as well. The important thing is to give your child a chance to talk to an impartial ear, so that he doesn't feel like he is betraying one parent by talking to the other.
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Step 3
Emphasize the positive. Tell your child that both parents will be happier after the divorce, and therefore, more fun to be around. Let your child know that both parents will still be there for the child, and that you both still love him. If you can convince your child that his happiness and your love for him are not contingent on your relationship with your spouse, the child will be less likely to feel responsible for keeping the two of you together.
Comments
beckyflores said
on 9/23/2009 I have been separated for 2 years and still cannot seem to file for divorce. I had a child with my first husband...the love of my life and he became an alcoholic to the point that I had no choice but to leave. My second husband put his hands on my son (from my first marriage) who is now 18 one too many times and he ended up in the hospital with 32 stitches. I had no choice once again..we have a young son who is devistated. Am I wrong to have left? Both my boys are great and I just want the best for both of them.