How to Stop Fighting With Your Spouse Live Harmoniously

Using These Techniques, you can stop fighting with your spouse and peacefully resolve conflicts

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A willing attitude to be collaborative rather than combative

1. Ask your spouse if they would be willing to adopt a new style of resolving conflict with you so that you can quit fighting. This is imperative if you have children

2. Rent, watch and study 2 movies on how not to have conflict resolution. The two movies that I recommend are War of the Roses, and The Breakup. For extra credit also rent the Moneypit. You will see yourselves and your typical reactions in your fights in these movies. It is art imitating life.

3. You must be willing to listen to your spouse without interrupting them. Let them finish even if they accuse you unfairly. Avoid the temptation to jump in and interrupt to correct those unfair accusations. When they are done re-state their complaint so that they are sure you understand. Then ask how we can resolve this?

Tips & Warnings

• Resolving Conflict Nothing kills your sex life and hurts your relationship like fighting. It is imperative for the health and continuation of your relationship to learn to resolve conflict peacefully. I always tell my relationship and sexual coaching clients to go home and rent two movies and study them: THE BREAKUP and WAR OF THE ROSES. It is another example of art illustrating and imitating life. Now there is no such thing as a couple who are going to agree on everything. The key to a good relationship is being able to resolve those differences without hurting each other and inflicting damage on the relationship. Learning to resolve differences peacefully is one of the keys to having a good relationship and great sex life. When you leave things unresolved or a person feels bullied, they fight and the resulting resentment is a huge ogre right in the middle of the bed. It keeps people from releasing fully. It results in grudging duty sex where surely there is no joy. Both men and women are equal opportunity offenders in this arena. It is human nature. QUESTION: Are you combative or collaborative? Do you want to win the fight or resolve the problem? ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT YOUR PARTNER! Ask, "In what way can we solve this problem?" When you attack your spouse, they tend to want to counter attack which only escalates the problem. Instead of accusing your partner, Make the problem and its solution mutual rather than a contest and argument. Resolve Differences Quickly Let not the sun go down on your wrath. Ephesians 4:26 This passage from the Bible is obvious and requires no interpretation. It is a simple command to resolve differences quickly. The reason for this should be obvious. You know when you and your spouse are fighting, the mood is toxic. It stresses and damages the relationship. There is another reason: your children sense the tenseness or worse yet see you fighting. It scares them and they have no way to resolve it, make it better or the ability to get away from it. This is literally torture for your children. It upsets their digestion, their sleep, and their emotional well being. Fighting in front of children is never okay. If you really need to have a fight, find a way to get the children somewhere else where they don't witness it. There is a syndrome called Fight or Flight Syndrome. This is a coping system in people and animals. Me
• The inability to resolve conflict amicably is the number one cause of marriage and relationship break ups. Study the information that I have provided and you will find that things go much better.