When you've got a toxic friend, you exist to that person for only one reason: her own personal gain. A healthy friendship is reciprocal, and won't leave you feeling as though this person is constantly taking advantage of you. Fortunately, the signs that a friend is using you are easy to identify because they all have one major thing in common: unacceptably selfish behavior on the part of your "friend."
You Can't Trust Her
Trust is an important piece of the foundation of a healthy relationship. Although friends are human and make mistakes, be leery of a friend who's broken your trust one too many times or who does so when it benefits her, writes family systems therapist Ann Smith in "7 Signs That You're in a Toxic Friendship" in Psychology Today. This person will take credit for one of your ideas to advance herself professionally, will make a move on the guy she knows you've been eyeing, and will tell a private story you told her in confidence just because it's juicy gossip. The fact that she's hurting both you and the friendship will be of little concern to her.
You're Always Second
Think about your history of making plans together. If you can remember numerous times that he cancelled on you because he had a date or because he wanted to do something with his other friends and didn't invite you along, you're being used. This person has a certain order of priorities, and you're not top on the list, warns psychologist Joseph M. Carver on askthepsych.com. And it should go without saying that a friend who treats you as a filler friend for when there's nothing better to do isn't a real friend at all.
She Steals Your Friends
She makes plans with your friends and you're not included. When you really like someone, it's only natural to want to introduce that person to your other friends, in the hopes that everyone will get along. However, if you find that you were only good for the introduction and now appear to be on the outside of the friendship circle, you have cause for concern, says author and gender expert Susan Shapiro Barash in an interview with Canadian Living. This shouldn't be confused with your friends genuinely liking each other and forming independent relationships, she adds. A toxic friend will actively try to exclude you. For instance, she'll invite all of your friends to a party without you.
You Do All the Giving
Friendships are supposed to be reciprocal, give-and-take relationships. In an unhealthy friendship, you're the one who's doing all the giving, writes relationship expert Jane Bluestein on her website. Worse still, when you don't give him what he wants, he acts like he doesn't have any use for you. Toxic friendships require one person to be what the other person wants them to be in order to be accepted. Consider whether or not your friend would still want to spend time with you if you said "no" to his requests.
- Photo Credit Medioimages/Photodisc/Stockbyte/Getty Images
How to Spot Being Used by Friends
Thinking that you are being used by a friend is difficult. It takes some serious thought and a little investigating to ......
Signs You Are Being Treated Like a Doormat
Signs of Being Old; Comments. Bruce Nov 10, 2011. A great article. You May Also Like. ... How to Identify When You're...
How to Tell if a Girl Is Using You
Look for some warning signs. ... such as always seeing the movies she want to see, that is also a warning sign...
What Are Signs of Selfishness?
It is important to know the warning signs of a selfish person so you can better evaluate whether you ... There are...
How to Tell if You Are Being Manipulated
How Do I Know If an Email Was Deleted Without Being Read? Email inboxes can get pretty busy some days. ... Thinking...
Signs of a Dysfunctional Relationship
There are telltale signs a relationship is dysfunctional. Other People Are Reading. Signs of a ... That being said, you want to...
How to Move on after being hurt in a relationship
Trying to move on but you can't seem to let go of the past? Still holding on to previous grudges and hurt...
What Muscles Are Used in Pushups?
Since your body is being held in a straight position while performing a strenuous exercise, your abdominals and core muscles are also...
How to Tell If You Are Being Manipulated
To tell if you are being manipulated, identify subversive signs of being coerced, forced, badgered or bribed into doing something that you...
How to tell if your wireless router has been hacked
With Wireless Routers quickly becoming the standard for home networking almost as many are being hacked and used by people who do...
How to See if Your Child's Identity Is Being Used
How to See if Your Child's Identity Is Being Used. ... 10 Beauty Secrets Every Woman Should Know You May Like. How...
How to Find Out If My Cell Phone Is Being Tracked?
How to Tell If You Are Being Monitored or Cloned by Your Cell Phone Bill Details. Phone monitoring, also called "tapping," and...