How to Make Mixed Families Work
Raising a family, especially a happy one, can certainly be a challenge in today's society. With the large number of divorces and remarriages, it would appear that there are more mixed families than there are natural families. This can take a toll on the children involved, leaving them confused, frustrated and angry. There are ways to make your new family work so everyone is happy; it just takes time, respect and patience.
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Instructions
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How to Make Mixed Families Work
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Communicate with your spouse. Communication between parents is essential for any family to run smoothly. However, when trying to combine two families and make them one, it is even more important. You need to discuss what you both feel is acceptable behavior for your children and agree upon the consequences that will be handed down should any of the children break a rule or disobey. Reaching an agreement from the beginning helps prevent problems and disagreements down the road.
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Present a united front. Once you have decided on the rules of the house, hold a family meeting and discuss them with your children together. Doing this shows his children that you are just as much an authority figure as their father is, and vice versa. This is important, especially during the transition phase, when many children have a difficult time respecting their stepparents.
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Show the children respect. One of the greatest ways to develop a good relationship with your stepchild is to show her respect. This is done by not speaking poorly of her natural mother, regardless of what you may think, and treating her as you treat your own child. Invite her to go places with you, such as the grocery store; this allows you an opportunity to talk and become more comfortable with each other. Over time, she will grow to respect you and the new family you and her father have created for her.
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Give him space. Though you and your new wife are head over heels in love and eager for your new family to mimic a fairy tale, your kids may not feel the same. Your stepson still has a natural father and may not adapt to your new marriage as well as you have. For this reason, give him some space. Try being his friend before you try being his dad. Though you need to enforce the rules you and your wife have set in place, you also need to allow him his privacy and time to adjust. Let him know on a regular basis you are there for him to talk to and spend time with, but don't push yourself on him. It needs to be on his terms and in his time.
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Be patient. Families consisting of both natural parents and their children can be more dysfunctional than some combined families. This being said, expect there to be bumps in the road, both in the beginning and along the way. With patience and consistency, though, these bumps will eventually smooth themselves out, paving the way for a more peaceful family life.
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