How to Get Rid of a Loser Date - For Him

You weren't expecting your date to be such a loser! How do you dump her without making a scene? Make it her choice. Disclaimer: Actually following this advice could make you feel like a loser yourself. If you want to be classy and kind, this may not be the best strategy.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Bag Of Cheerios
• Emergency Flares

1. Be strategic - different losers require different techniques. Some take more time than others to get the hint.

2. Read poetry to her - get emotional. T. S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" is a good place to start because it isn't very long, yet quickly becomes annoying.

3. Bore your date. Talk about sports, cars, video games or your job. If she shows even a remote interest after five minutes (you have to allow for politeness), switch to another topic on the list. Talk about your ex, even if you don't have one.

4. Discuss only yourself. Monopolize the conversation, and if she offers any personal information, brush it aside and say, "Oh yeah? Well I ' "

5. Tell jokes. Tell them so that she isn't sure they're jokes. If she laughs at any of them, switch to offensive jokes. The idea is to make her question her decision to go out with you. After all, you seemed like a nice guy.

6. Call her Toots, Babe, Mamma or Chickie. Drop Cheerios in her purse when she isn't looking.

7. Demonstrate your worst table manners. Ask, "Do you want that?" and take food from her plate before she answers. If she protests, point out that it's your food - you're paying for it, after all.

8. Make her uncomfortable. Stare at her neck. Smirk at her. Tell her, "I had this scaly thing once, but they removed it."

9. Embarrass her. Scratch yourself with abandon. Belch loudly and with great gusto. Fan the air and say, "Whoooee, Baby, you need to lay off the dairy products!"

[mark1967]

on 1/11/2009 awesome, please rate some of mine.

[taskeinc]

on 1/4/2009 This is the funniest article I have read on eHow, by far .. and the "Belch loudly and with great gusto" brought tears to my eyes ... so you're talking about one of those belches after you have eaten a lot of food, and drank a can of coke, and you hold it for as long as you can .. then LET GO! The type of burb where you can actually talk through it .. one of those? I'll tell you what, if your tips don't get rid of her, then you're in major trouble! Fatal Attraction Trouble!

[sheila828342]

on 9/18/2008 Men - you will learn how to properly date and respect women who are a little to a lot older than you! Im pretty sure if I was a guy, it would be my dream to be with an older women...or maybe it is my dream anyway haha http://gocougar.bravehost.com !!

[CopyCat]

on 5/26/2007 As the author of this particular eHow article (back in 1999), I want to point out that it was written tongue-in-cheek, for entertainment purposes. It seems to me that this article has inspired a lot of discussion concerning respect for self and others and while I wholeheartedly agree, I'm afraid you have missed the point. And to those of you who offered up additional suggestions, kudos!

on 8/8/2006 These tips work. However, it's best to just be up front with your date; tell her that there's no hope for romance between the two of you. Keep your integrity. She'll respect you more; she may be a better friend than a date.