How to Settle Child Support Out of Court and Still Get What You Need

Applying for child support through the court system could take longer than you'd like and leave you without the income you need to care for your child(ren). Also, the money you get from child support, if done through the court system, often has to be claimed as income on certain things. If you have a supportive ex-spouse or ex-partner that is willing to settle out of court and you can come to an agreement on the amount he or she should have to pay, you may be better off settling things between the two of you. Here are some tips for settling child support out of court and still getting what you need for your child(ren).

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Sit down with your ex-partner and talk about settling child support out of court. Explain to him why this is a good idea including coming up with a fair amount, not having to claim the income, and keeping your business out of the court system. Tell your ex-partner that you are not looking to wipe him clean, but are merely hoping for enough money to help you take care of your child when he is with you. Let your ex-partner know if things are tough financially for you and how he can help both you and your child with this without having to take the issue to court. Most mature adults will respond in a kind way to this decision.

2. Talk about your finances. Discuss, briefly, what types of bills or expenses you both have and about how much you make a month to cover those expenses. This doesn't have to be an exact amount, but it will help you to determine a fair amount of child support for your ex-partner to pay. Depending on who makes more money and has more expenses, the other lower income ex-partner should be the one who receives the child support to care for the child. Come up with a final amount of how much you both have left over and decide upon a fair child support payment out of that. There is no right amount. The child support your willing to take is the right amount for you and your ex-partner only.

3. Figure out how much having your child costs. This includes groceries, school clothes, misc. supplies, rent, utilities, day care, and doctor bills or health care costs. Come to an agreement on these expenses to help you decide a fair amount of child support. Figure out a total of what each of you spends on your child or needs to spend in the future. Tally all this into the child support. If you're going to split all these costs down the middle, then you may want to ask for a higher amount of child support. If the majority of your child's needs are being paid by your ex-partner, be kind and request a lower amount of child support so that he can pay what is needed for the child's major expenses.

4. Write a final amount of total child support due a week on paper and total that per month. Both of you should sign this sheet of paper and even have it notarized so that both you and your ex-partner are safe from legal trouble later. This is the amount your ex-partner will give you every week (or two weeks depending on how he gets paid and how you'll accept payment). Now, each time your ex-partner gives you this child support, be sure to give him a receipt marked with the amount of the payment, the date, and what the payment was for ('child support' is fine). This written agreement will help to put both your minds at ease and will encourage your ex-partner to settle child support out of court rather than make it a legal issue.

5. In a few months or a year, depending on when both of your incomes change, reevaluate the child support agreement. If you get a raise or another job that pays more, consider lowering the child support to help your ex-partner out. If your ex-partner gets a raise, he should pay more child support to you to help you out more. Try to be fair to each other in the child support agreement so that no anger evolves and no one gets cheated. Settling child support out of court means trusting each other as much as you can and being fair to one another. After all, you're helping each other out by settling the issue of child support out of court and should be as kind as possible to one another in terms of money issues. Maturity is key in this agreement.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk about any issues that may arise from the out of court child support agreeance...don't let any upset fester or the whole thing will blow up in your faces.
• Have an objective witness take a look at the child support agreement and sign it too if you both feel a little uneasy...this can also be done at a notary.
• Never settle child support out of court if you feel you cannot trust your ex-partner...you're better off getting the child support taken care of by legal means.
• Never try to cheat your ex-partner with an out of court child support agreement...take what you agreed upon and keep trust between you both.

[kristara]

on 9/16/2009 Great tips on child support 5*