How to Become A Good Foster Parent

While there is no blueprint to raising a “perfect” foster child, there are certain things that can be done to help you be a good foster parent.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Ensure that you have realistic expectations of what it is like to be a foster parent. Many foster children are developmentally, socially, and/or emotionally behind their peers. Do not expect your foster child to act like the famous orphan, Annie.

2. Treat your foster child as if he/she is your own biological child. If you give your biological child a birthday party, you should give your foster child a birthday party. If you decide to take your biological family on a vacation, you should take your foster child on vacation.

3. Refrain from comparing your foster child to your biological children. You should not expect your foster child to automatically know all of your rules or traditions. Furthermore, you should not automatically expect your foster child to understand or follow your household rules. Unlike your biological children, your foster children are trying to learn all of your household rules at one time.

4. Exercise a lot of patience. Your foster child will need time to accept your rules, adjust to your household routine, trust you and your family, and feel safe within your household. In addition, your child may have undiagnosed needs that go beyond their physical, social, or emotional development. Gradually increase your expectations of your foster child as they adapt to your household.

5. Notify family members or friends of topics that may be difficult for your child to deal with. By notifying your family members and friends of sensitive topic, you can help shield your foster child from hurt feelings and negativity.

6. Respect your foster child’s family, culture, and beliefs. While you may not like certain aspects of your foster child’s life, you should not speak negatively of them. You do not want your foster child to take your criticisms of “things,” as criticisms of him.

7. Teach and exhibit compassion and empathy. If your foster child has an emotional outburst, try to figure out why. Some children may not be emotionally tuned in to themselves and/or unable to express how they feel.

8. Provide a sense of normalcy and stability in the home. When you establish a household routine and explain your expectations, you help your foster child to know where they stand.

9. Speak with other foster parents, be it in social settings or in counseling sessions. Other foster parents are uniquely positioned to understand the challenges of parenting a child that did not grow up in your household. They can provide a needed outlet for your frustrations.

10. Exhibit flexibility. You should try to adapt to all of the changes and challenges that come with parenting a foster child. Rigidity will do nothing more than fill your household with unnecessary stress.

[dorsmh]

on 11/25/2009 Excellent article. Your foster child or children are very lucky to have such a loving, intelligent mom like you.