How to React to Your Son or Daughter Saying "Im Gay."

It is understandable if you hope your son or daughter will never come to you and say, "I'm Gay." And as hard as it may ever seem for you to hear those words- it is probably even harder for your child to look at you and essentially say "Mom or Dad, I'm something you don't want me to be." This article is not about how to accept your son or daughter if he or she tells you they're gay. This article is intended on helping you be a better parent should your child tell you they are gay.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Open Mind and a Loving Heart

1. The first thing to realize if your son or daughter is telling you they are gay is to take the word GAY out your mind completely. Ask yourself- What are they really telling me? Second, you must remember if your child is telling you they are gay that it is not about you. It is entirely about them. Third, it is also important to remember they are your child (not all of a sudden your gay child) and by telling you they are gay they are telling you a few things you may not be hearing:
   
   A) They are telling you they love you and they trust you! This is because they are entrusting something many people may or may not know about them. And for what ever reason, they now feel it is important for you to now know.
   B) They are telling you they want you to know more about them. Most likely they feel their being gay and having to hide it is in some way coming between you and them. And that means they want your love and support.
   C) They are telling you they want you to be a part of their lives. Whether they say it or not- if someone (especially your own child) tells you something they don't have to tell you about themselves they are telling you because deep down inside they want you to be apart of their life.

2. Many times when someone tells their parents they are gay a few different situations manifest. One common situation is the parents begin asking questions their son or daughter may not be able to answer. It is important to keep in mind that homosexuality, as much as it has been studied, simply exist and there are no true answers. There are only opinions and theory. Asking questions will only make it more difficult for your son or daughter.

3. Do not excuse your son or daughter coming out because you don't understand, because you are afraid, or because your religious beliefs tell you to do so. This will seem like rejection or dismissal of something very important to them.
   
   Therefore, if you do not know what to say- it is important to tell your son or daughter that you love them. And it is important to tell them in a loving way you don't understand at the moment but it is something you are going to become educated about and support them in.

Tips & Warnings

• If you find yourself not speaking to a loved one about something you do not like- please further research "shunning." Shunning is an abusive technique often used by religious sectors by which a person is excluded, ignored, and/or asked to leave the presence of a community. Shunning a person does more damage than good and should never happen to anyone!