How to Prepare for a Meeting with Your Child's Teacher

Many parents are intimidated at the thought of meeting with a child's teacher. The mere idea of stepping into a classroom can reawaken old feelings and old insecurities about dealing with someone in authority. In addition, parents may be concerned that questioning a teacher's methods or asking questions may mark their child as a target, or single him out for extra "attention".

In fact, the parent teacher conference is one of the most potent tools in a parent's arsenal. With a little preparation and some pointed questions, a parent can firmly establish a home-school teaching partnership in which the biggest winner is a happier, better-educated child. Here's how to make the most of your upcoming parent-teacher conference.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Paper and pen

1. Make a list of the things you hope to accomplish with this meeting. A parent teacher conference gives you the opportunity to learn important information about your child's school year. It also gives you the chance to make sure your teacher knows important things about your child. Make a list of the things that you want to find out and the things that you think the teacher needs to know in order to effectively teach your child.

2. Make a list of effective questions to ask your child's teacher. Using the list of things you want to learn from the teacher, create a list of questions that you can ask. Avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or no answer. Instead, structure your questions to elicit more information.

3. Include these three vital questions. What do you expect from my child? What do you expect from me as a parent? How will you communicate with me about how well my child is meeting your expectations?

4. Make a list of things your teacher should know about your child. Do not assume that your child's teacher can learn all there is to know from your child's records. If your child has a teacher action plan or needs special accommodations, put that on your list of things to discuss. If you have found a particularly good way to engage your child, share it. Share what doesn't work as well as what does - it will help your child's teacher teach him more effectively.

5. Practice with a friend. If you think or know that you might be intimidated meeting with a "professional", ask a friend to help you out by role playing. You may feel silly at first, but it will help you get over the jitters and give you the confidence to bring up important questions and concerns.

6. Enlist a friend or advocate to go with you. There's nothing wrong with getting moral support. If you're still nervous about talking with your child's teacher, ask a friend to come along with you. If you don't have a friend you can ask to do this, check with local neighborhood centers and community centers. Many have educational advocates that can help you formulate questions and put your concerns into words, and some will even attend parent-teacher conferences with you as an advocate for your child.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that you know your child better than anyone. That makes you an authority on your child.
• Follow up on the parent teacher conference to keep the lines of communication open.
• Hold your child's teacher accountable for any agreements made during a parent teacher conference, especially those about communicating with you.
• Be positive in engaging your child's teacher. Your attitude WILL affect the way she views teaching your child.