How to Use Dating Sites to Meet Someone Online

Online Dating might not sound appealing, but really it's the easiest way to get out there, and connect with someone. Internet dating is interesting, sometimes exciting, and basically a lot better than sitting at home by yourself, or hanging out in a seedy bar.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Choose one or two online dating web sites that will work for you. Match.com and Yahoo! Personals are probably a good place to start, and if you're Jewish, jdate.com. Most online dating sites that are worth your time have a fee to join, but the cost is minimal, and you have a better chance of finding a true match due to the huge dating pool at your fingertips. In addition, people willing to pay to use dating sites are generally more serious about meeting someone, as opposed to only looking for sex. If marriage is your number one priority, sign up for eharmony.com. The initial application is complicated, but you are much more likely to be compatible with your dates. If you just want to date around and see what's out there, eharmony's not for you. Refuse to pay? There are quite a few free sites, but beware of cheapskates...if someone won't pay for an online dating site, dinner will probably be dutch as well.

2. Create a memorable profile, without the cliches. Make your title short and snappy, and above all else, interesting enough for someone to read the rest. Ditch the overly-romantic, sugary, cliched one-liners ("I really enjoy candle-lit dinners...hopefully with YOU" gag). Those are a major turn off to men and women alike. Even if that's truly your personality, save it for later when you actually have a reason to feel romantic toward someone. Instead, write about an activity you enjoy that shows your fun-loving side ("In the summer, SCUBA, in the winter, skiing.") Let the reader know what you like to do so you can meet a person with similar interests. You will have a better chance of making it work in the long term if you do.

3. Upload a recent photo to the dating web site. Find a picture that looks like you, or have someone take a new one. If you use a photo that is too good (too old, too dark, from the neck up, etc.), you run the risk of being an enormous disappointment when you finally meet face to face. Not fun, and possibly very awkward. If you can find one, use a picture that has you participating in some activity, not just sitting there, smiling. You will look adventurous, or at least like you have a life, and this dating thing is just one part of it. What you don't want is to appear to be lonely..wasting away at home, waiting for someone...anyone...to love you - how pitiful.

4. Peruse the pictures of other online daters that have profiles you like. Physical attraction is a must whether you want to believe it or not, so start with the picture. If you like the pic, send a short, casual email, and see what comes back. If the picture is just OK, but you love the profile, you can try to make it work, but it will probably fizzle. Attraction is essential, the person doesn't have to necessarily be super hot, but at least "cute" to you.

5. Pour through the emails you receive and delete those that don't appeal to you immediately. Not your type? Delete. Wrote something strange? Delete. Boring? Delete. Simple don't waste your precious time - make the search count for something. If the email sparks your interest, respond casually and see what kind of response you get. Then, if you hit it off, advance to the next level, phone. This is where you can really see if there's a chance. Conversational style is very revealing. If you're still happy at this level (even anticipating the next time you'll talk), it's time to meet up close and personal.

6. Pick a very public place for your first meeting. It's the safest way, and gives you an easy out if things are not clicking, since you have no idea if the two of you will connect in person. You may find that your wonderful date has been dishonest in the picture department, and that's a tremendous downer. In fact, if upon entering, you notice that this person has tricked you by using an extremely out of date photo, or God forbid, a picture of someone else, say "I'm sorry" and leave right away, no time to listen to lame apologies. Kind of harsh, but fair. Why pretend that's acceptable in any way? You don't deserve that treatment.

7. Play the field in the beginning. This is a great opportunity to find your perfect match, so don't limit yourself unless you are absolutely certain this person is worth it. Online dating can be thrilling AND fulfilling, but only if you do it right.

Tips & Warnings

• Only put up one profile picture. The only exception is if you put one close-up and one full length.
• Do not make yourself too available, you'll appear desperate.
• Avoid putting up pictures of yourself with the opposite sex - it will remind people that you might have some serious baggage.
• Never ever ever meet at someone's house. Even after multiple emails and phone conversations, this person is STILL a stranger!