How to Overcome Anger

Dealing with chronic anger, or even sporadic anger, can have negative effects on multiple areas of your life. It can seep into every part of your life, including your relationships, work and fun. It seems as though there are more and more things to become angry about these days, from the economy, crowded cities and technology. In this article, you can learn some ways to look at anger differently and try to take control of your emotions.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Knowledge is power. Knowing what you’re angry about can be the first step to taking control of it. Anger is a “secondary emotion”, meaning there is another emotion that is driving the anger. What other emotions are you feeling when you’re angry? Are you sad, frustrated, hurt, embarrassed, scared? Think about what is making you angry. You may find you’re acting out of anger because it’s easier than being sad, hurt or embarrassed.

2. What are you thinking? People who tend to be angry tend to think that others are doing things deliberately to them. Did that guy who cut you off on the highway do it specifically to you, to annoy you? Probably not. Try to take “a step back” from the situation and ask yourself, “was that a deliberate act?” If it was an accident, you’re probably better off not wasting the emotional energy of becoming angry.

3. Anger can wreak havoc on your body. Many things are happening in your body when you become angry, including increased heart rate, blood pressure, and adrenalin. Chronic anger can also lead to muscle tension. Are the things you’re angry about worth the things it does to your body? Learning some simple relaxation skills can help you feel more at ease. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and stretching can help relieve muscle tension and lower blood pressure and heart rate

4. Learn what your body feels like when you’re starting to become angry. Does your facial expression change? Do you clench your fists? Do you feel your face getting warm and your muscles tighten? If you can learn what it feels like in the beginning, you have better control to stop it before your anger becomes rage or you do something you’ll regret.

5. Are there other things at play? Are possible mental health issues contributing to this? Irritability is a symptom of many mental health diagnoses. Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and ADHD, are some examples. Do you have a sleep disturbance? If chronic anger is causing significant issues in your life, it may be worth having an evaluation done, to rule out other underlying causes.

6. Sometimes walking away is the best option. If you find yourself becoming angry, it’s probably a good idea to walk away and think about the situation. Anger tends to cloud your thought process. You may try to keep an anger log, recording the situation, your thoughts and feelings and things you could have done differently next time. It may take some time, but anger is something you can take control over!

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient with yourself. It will probably take time take control of your anger.
• If you feel you've tried everything you can, you may want to try therapy or an anger management group for extra help.
• Create a support system to help you overcome your anger issues.