How to incorporate Anger Management Techniques

Whether it's the daily stresses of life or a specific event we all get a little angry from time to time. Finding ways to cope with anger can help everyone feel better -- especially you! If you are looking for ways to control your anger this article gives tips on how to manage, control, and cope with anger.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Journal
• A quiet place

1. First, when you feel calm and collected sit down in a quiet place and relax. If you live with other people make it clear in the nicest way possible that you need at least one hour, perhaps longer, to be alone. Take your shoes off, grab something to drink, and get out your journal. Your journal doesn't have to be anything fancy -- it could be anything from an expensive journal to a composition notebook. Whatever works for you.

2. Take a few minutes to reflect on what makes you angry. Is it being around certain co-workers? Having to many demands on your time? Stress? Loneliness? Events from your past? Write these down and reflect.

3. After reflecting write down three or more specific events where you were angry. Be specific. Were you screaming? Throwing things? Sitting passively? For each event rate your anger on a scale of one to five -- one being mild discomfort associated with the anger, five being a full blown anger or rage. Write it down!

4. Reflect over your experiences and try to locate possible triggers. Do you feel yourself getting hot under the collar when asked to do something you don't want to do? What about when someone says something mean about you? What about feeling anger over being rushed or late? Write it down!

5. Take a break! Put your pen down, sit back, and take a deep breath. Relax and count to ten. Take note of how you're feeling. If need be get up and take a walk -- just remember to finish the process you've started in your journal.

6. After you've quieted your thoughts reflect over what you've written and use it to help you formulate a game plan. What are you going to do next time you start feeling angry? Try using the STOP method:
   S: Stop -- literally stop whatever your doing and go some place quiet even if it's the closet or bathroom.
   T: Think -- what's making you angry? Be specific and decide if it's more than one thing.
   O: Organize your thoughts -- take a breather and let your thoughts settle for a minute. Quiet your mind.
   P: Plan your action -- once you're calm enough decide what your plan of action is going to be.

7. Realize that you cannot control the outcome of every single event and that sometimes, try as you might, your anger might get out of hand. Remember that you can always take a deep breath and walk away from the situation until you feel that you can handle things without anger.

8. Lastly, realize that this is not an overnight fix. You may find yourself getting angry more times than not -- just remember to be proactive. Keep trying to control your anger instead of letting it control you. Remember, getting angry is a choice you make. You can control the outcome of the situation by deciding to opt for something other than anger! You can do it!!

Tips & Warnings

• If you find yourself getting angry think positive thoughts like: "I can't wait to see my kids after work" or "I'm so glad that the day's almost over!" -- whatever puts a smile on your face. Pretty soon you'll start feeling better.
• If you find yourself struggling with excessive anger you might want to consult an anger management specialist or therapist -- your anger could be associated with depression, childhood trauma, or relationship issues.