-
Step 1
Buy a No ma'am shirt or Polk high 33 Jersey. he head of the Bundy family, Al (Ed O'Neill) is doomed to fail in all aspirations because of the "Bundy curse". Once a promising fullback for fictional Polk High School (his proudest moment in life was scoring four touchdowns in a single game), he was on his way to college on a scholarship until he impregnated his girlfriend, married her, broke his leg, and ended up a shoe salesman at "Gary's Shoes" in the "New Market Mall". Al often spends time attempting to re-capture his glory days, but is usually undermined in spectacular fashion by bad luck and poor judgment. He considers his family to be the cause of his failures, and his resentment of them (and fear of having sex with his wife) provides much of the show's humor. However, Al is still devoted to them, given that he protectively beats up Kelly's boyfriends, once threatened a male stripper that "if my wife loses anything in your pants, so will you," once gave his entire paycheck to Bud to enjoy his 18th birthday at the "nudie bar", and holds down a lousy job to put food on the table. Despite his yearning for "the touch of a beautiful woman," he always passes on those rare temptations, once explaining, "I actually kinda like my family."
-
Step 2
Keep your hands in your pants with the No ma'am shirt. Buy football pants and a helmet if wearing the Jersey
-
Step 3
Get someone to go as Peg Bundy
