How to Be A Good College Dorm-Mate

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By ramblin62
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Larger College Dorm Room

As prepared as you are for college, sharing your dorm room with someone you don’t know can be an unexpected challenge. With the right attitude though, adjusting to shared college living can be easier than choosing what to eat at the cafeteria! Keep these things in mind as you and your dorm-mate adjust to college freshman life, and hopefully you’ll develop a solid beginning to your college support system.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Good Frendships Take Time

Be Realistic:
Best friendships between college roommates aren’t as typical as you think, so be realistic and don’t latch onto your roommate automatically. Usually colleges try to match roommates with compatible interests and personalities, but adjusting to living in close quarters with anyone—much less someone that may not like the same hygiene as you—is hard. Give it time, get used to his/her personality and preferences, and be yourself. You have many more college friends to make.
Step 2

Must Be Laundry Day

Keep Things Tidy:
Returning to a reeking, messy dorm room is aggravating, and puts a damper on studies and social life too. Organize your belongings and continue to clean up after yourself, including: dishes, laundry, garbage, and books. Keep your living space tidy, and hopefully your roommate will do the same.
Step 3

Set Ground Rules Soon

Agree On Rules:
Agreeing on ground rules for your dorm room lifestyle early on will help prevent tension building between you. Discuss issues like: How late do you stay up? Do you want guests staying overnight? How do you feel about underage drinking? Can you study if there is loud music, movies, or talking going on? Do any chores need to be assigned? Do you want to share a mini-fridge, or an extra piece of furniture? If your dorm allows pets, do you want any?
Step 4

Have A Chat

Get to Know Each Other:
Without forcing it, try to get to know each other a little more each day. Invite your dorm-mate to breakfast, or explore nearby eateries together. Tell your roommate when your next concert, play, or debate is happening, and return the favor if he/she attends. If your roommate is having a bad day, grab a cup of coffee on the way to class and let him/her talk it out, or go to a campus movie together to get his/her mind off it.
Step 5

Build Mutual Trust

Establish Trust:
A. Respect Your Spaces
Your dorm room might be more like a closet, but you and your roommate need to feel secure and comfortable there. Never bother your roommate’s things without permission, and never allow your messes to spread throughout the entire room.

B. Keep Your Word
If you tell your roommate you will do something, like replace the six-pack of Pepsi you drank during your last study session, then do it! Keep your promises, big and small, and you’re college dorm life will be more peaceful.

C. Relay Messages
If someone stops by to see your roommate, let him/her know. If you answer your shared dorm phone and take a message, leave it somewhere your roommate will see it immediately.

D. Don’t Spill Secrets
You will learn things about your roommate that others don’t know. Use discretion when talking or complaining about these things. Are they THAT bad? What would your roommate say about you? If it involves something illegal, or detrimental to someone’s mental or physical health though, then get the proper authorities involved.
Step 6

Communicate!

Keep Your Dorm-mate Informed:
Let your roommate know if you have an extra early class, or a late night event to attend. No one likes to be surprised by an alarm ringing at an unnatural hour, or by a clumsy sneak-in at 2am. Having someone know where you are is a great way to stay safer too.
Step 7

It's Okay If It Doesn't Work Out

Ask For A Reassignment If Needed:
If your gut tells you the dorm-mate situation won’t work out, talk with your Resident Adviser and ask for a reassignment. Waiting too long is more trouble than it’s worth.