How to Survive Losing Your Father

This article is dedicated to my Dad, who passed away August 3, 2009 of prostate cancer. My Dad meant the world to me and I am still coping with his loss. These are the things that have given me comfort. If you are facing this kind of tragic loss, I hope these suggestions are of benefit to you.

Things You'll Need

• Family
• Friends
• Spiritual Beliefs
• Good Memories

Instructions

1. Plan ahead. Your first steps for coping with the death of either parent is planning before your loved one passes away. Talk to your parents about wills, life insurance policies, and funeral arrangements while they are still alive. The information they give you will provide you with a guide during a difficult time when it may be difficult for you to make decisions.

2. 

   Gather your family around you. Your mother, if still living, will need your support. Work together with your siblings so that no one person has to bear the entire burden of the funeral arrangements. Often funerals bring out family members you haven't seen for many years. I took great comfort in talking to some of my Dad's cousins that I last saw over 30 years ago.

3. Reach out to your friends. Friends can provide invaluable help, anything from running errands to providing a sofa for your cousin from another city to sleep on. You can turn to them for comfort in your grief when you don't want to upset your mother or siblings with your tears. Your friends desperately want to help, but usually are at a loss as to what to do. Don't be afraid to let them know.

4. 

   Take refuge in your spiritual beliefs. Whatever your religion, turn to your spiritual adviser and sacred texts for comfort and guidance during this difficult period of your life. I kept candles and incense burning after my father died until his funeral was over. The task centered and calmed me. My own prayers helped sustain me and the prayers of others strengthened me. Use your religion to cope and recover from your grief.

5. 

   Hold onto your good memories of your Dad. Remembering the good times and sharing the recollections with others helps to ease the pain of your Dad's passing. Fond memories from the past allow you to hold him close forever. Make a memory board with pictures of treasured moments with your father for display at the funeral and then use it after whenever you want to recall your dad.

6. Take time for yourself. This can be the hardest step when you are surrounded by family and friends. As much help as others can be in your time of grief, you will need some time on your own to process your grief. When you start to feel stressed, take a time out and go for a short walk or retreat into a quiet room.

7. Keep in mind that your father would not want you to wallow in grief. Losing a parent is always one of the most devastating events of life. But your dad would want you to remember him as he was - a good man, husband, and father who loved his family. Cry all the tears you need to cry, but also be happy that you had such a wonderful man for your father.