How to Raise Teen Boys

As your boys enter their teenage years, the nurturing and teaching that took place in earlier years begins to give way to testing and bargaining. You may not be familiar with this if you haven't had a boy who has reached the teenage phase of life. Being one step ahead of your male teenager can help you spring traps that await their footfall and clear a path to the promise-land of success.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Use your experiences. The groundwork for life-long values has already been established at this point and the best way to get through to your boy now is by offering up your own life experiences. Using your own personal examples, whether positive or negative, as a model of what to do (or not do) will help your teenage boy absorb important knowledge.

2. Enforce set boundaries. Nearly every teenage boy will rebel or act out in some way. This behavior is normal but should not be encouraged. When raising a teenage boy it is more important than ever to set rules that are strictly enforced. Be sure not to try to fix everything that may be going wrong at once but rather one or two at a time.

3. Give your teen just enough space. Teenage boys are at an exceptionally high risk for committing suicide and warning signs such as withdrawal should be monitored closely. While it is normal for your teen to want to be more independent, it shouldn't be allowed to progress to a point where they shut you out completely. Teen boys often become afraid to talk about their emotions to their parents because it will be mistaken as a sign of weakness. Ensure you leave the line of communication open without always interrogating to receive information on the happenings of their life.

4. Listen to what he has to say. Before making judgments on what your teenage boy talks to you about, remember that your response will be monitored closely by him. Being honest and open and likewise allowing your son to be honest with you will yield more information in the long run. Topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol, and relationships should be approached from a young adult point of view. Your teenager will sometimes want to hear an opinion from a friend's point of view rather than a parent.

5. Allow them to make mistakes. Obviously you don't want your teenage son to end up in a great deal of trouble, but you do want them to learn from mistakes. If you control every decision your teenager makes then they will likely not learn how to make decisions on their own. The thing to remember is that you will lose a great deal of influence over your boys at this time but they will still need you to pick them up when they fall down. Allowing your teenage boys to make some decisions on their own will teach them independence and good decision-making, if they learn from bad decisions before they leave the nest.

Tips & Warnings

• Father figures are of great importance to teenage boys. If your teenager doesn't have an older male figure to look up to or teach him, consider enrolling him in activities that provide such guidance.
• High expectations without good leadership and guidance can severely stress the relationship you will have with your teen boys. This will also have a big hand in dictating their level of rebellion if they feel oppressed.

References

• Parenting Teens Online
• Single Parent Center