How to Survive a Difficult Teenager

Teenagers go through a period of emotial, physical and intellectual transition.

Don't fret. You have what it takes to survive a difficult teenager. Even if you are at your wit's end,you can parent a teenager who's acting up. Teens seek information from their parents on subjects including education, career ideas and finances, while they turn to friends for advice on dating and social activities, according to the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. Build upon what your teenager likes to discuss and be patient in the areas she does not wish to talk about. Keep working on your parenting skills and you will guide and advise your difficult teen with success.

Instructions

Sound Parenting

1. Know that you matter as a parent. Even though teens may act like they don't want to spend time around you, the opposite can sometimes ring true.

2. Show your teen that you love him. Say "I love you" often. This reinforces that you are aware that they are going through a difficult time, but you care about them anyway. Your child may not say it back, he still loves you. Display that you care about your teen by having everyone sit down together at meals.

3. Stay connected with your teen's activities. Watch him at football or band practice, and whichever other activities he enjoys. Attend functions including fundraisers and sports games.

4. Inform your teen about why you are enforcing a certain rule. Talk to her about what rule you are establishing and why. Keep reinforcing rules, but don't make them too strict. Don't escalate problems into rebellion.

5. Let your teen make certain decisions. For example, allow him to decide where to spend his allowance or what night he wants to stay over at a friend's house. Keeping your teen involved in decision- making helps you curb some of his rebellion. Approve of your teen experimenting with new ideas and practices, as long as these activities are safe.

6. Monitor to avoid problems with peer pressure. Ask where she plans to go and with whom. Establish a way to keep in touch with your teen. Find out how she plans to get to a social activity and back again.

Overcoming Difficulties

1. Don't argue with your teenager. Fighting with him doesn't work because your emotions are out of control. Your teen picks up on and reacts to the chaos surrounding arguments, according to the Iowa State University Extension Service.

2. Don't get too loud. Reducing your noise level while communicating with your teen keeps you and her talking as the two of you express a difference in opinion.

3. Ask questions to stop rebellion. Listening and posing questions helps you put the lid on arguments. Your teen wants you to listen to about different subjects, including educational opportunities, according to Christina Botto, author and mediator.

Tips & Warnings

• Give your teen a list of numbers of people including other family members or trusted neighbors she can contact if she can't contact with you at a certain time.

• Keep a bulletin board handy to keep track of everyone's activities.

• Quell rebellion by choosing your battles. Say no to dangerous activities; not to a certain hairstyle that you may not like.

References

• Iowa State University: 10 Principals for Parenting Your Teen...; Kimberly Greder; 2003
• North Carolina State University; Parenting Teens; Karen DeBord, Ph.D.
• Parenting Teenagers; Parenting the Stubborn and Argumentative Teenager; Christina Botto; 2006