How to Ease Separation Anxiety When Your Child Goes to Preschool

Both children and parents become anxious when leaving them at the preschool door for the first few times. This article will help ease the transition and give you tips on what to do if crying is an issue--for your child OR you!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A positive attitude
• Good communication with teachers.

1. The first step for a successful start to the preschool experience is to do some transition activities before the first day.
   *Read books about preschool with your child and talk about all the fun things that kids do there.
   *Go up to the school prior to the first day with your child to see the building, the classroom and teacher. The program may have an organized "open house" or "orientation" for this or you can call and schedule this yourself. If the program will not accommodate you, then it's a good bet you should enroll elsewhere.
   *Let your child know that mommies and daddies don't stay at preschool right from the get go, but that you will always return when school is done.
   *Have your child involved in picking out the new clothes, supplies or book bag they will take to school so they can get excited for this new adventure.

2. When the big day comes it is important that you don't appear nervous or worried as your child will pick up on this. Have a positive attitude so your child will too.
   A quick drop off is usually better. Don't dawdle and have extended good-byes. Take your pictures at home or outside the building, not in the classroom on the first day. (You can always get some classroom pictures later in the year)
   DO NOT SNEAK OUT! Always say goodbye to your child and let them know you will be back when school is over. Sneaking out has the opposite effect that you want. Your child will become MORE clingy because he or she never knows when you may just disappear.
   If your child appears distressed when you leave, leave anyway. You can call the preschool in 10-15 minutes to see if he or she has settled down.
   Usually once the parent is gone, the child cannot resist all the wonderfully intriguing toys and activities going on and gets involved within that amount of time.

3. There have been a handful of children over my 17 years teaching preschool that continue to have separation issues that last longer than the first week or two. These need to be dealt with individually between staff and families to determine the best course of action. Some strategies that have helped include:
   *Bringing in a blanket, stuffed animal, or pictures from home to keep with the child for comfort. This may be enough to help him cope.
   *Having the parent stay for part of the session as a helper to the class, NOT to sit and snuggle with the child, and then gradually reduce the amount of time the parent is there until the child is comfortable staying by himself.
   *Reducing the number of days or hours the child attends.
   *If there has been a stressor in the family recently such as a divorce, death of a grandparent, or move, this may not be an ideal time to start preschool. Your child may have too much anxiety in dealing with the family issue that adding preschool at this time may not be the best for him.

Tips & Warnings

• Usually teachers are willing to work with families to make preschool a happy experience for all involved. If you find the staff at your program is not willing to make accommodations or acts as if your child is a burden, it is time to look elsewhere.
• Some moms have a hard time not crying themselves on that first day. If you know you are one of those it may be best for dad or another relative to drop your child off until he becomes comfortable.

[freakerteacher]

on 8/12/2009 Great advice! I appreciate you including the myth of "sneaking out" that never works.