How to Get Connected With Other Stay-at-home Moms

We all need connection in our lives. When you make the decision to parent full-time, that includes some sacrifice. One of those sacrifices may well be your familiar connections. You may be used to working full-time and having adult connection in the workplace. Being at home full-time, caring for your children is a blessing, but something that can be extremely tiring and even lonely. I will share with you my tips of how to get connected with other mothers who are in the same boat as you. I began my time as a SAHM over five years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter. Now I have some meaningful connections and people that I can turn to when the going gets tough and I need some quality time with mothers who have been there.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• patience
• consistency
• stamina

1. Leave the house every day. Yes, it is difficult to pack up the children, get all their gear together, strap them in their car-seats, only to find out that one of them needs a diaper change just as you are about to turn the key to the ignition. But, leaving the house is something that will lead to connection with other mothers and give you some sanity as well. At first, this is nothing short of challenging, but given time, you will establish a routine and it will not be as difficult to get out the door.

2. But, where should I go? Yes, you may meet other mothers in the grocery store, but usually there they are there to get their groceries and leave, not form bonds of friendship. Try going to where other mothers congregate. We have a play area in our mall where you can get Starbucks and sit and watch your kids play. Only SAHM's and dads come there during the weekdays. Do not be afraid to be alone at first, or sit with another mother who is also braving the mall by herself.

3. You will be surprised at the inroads you will have in making friends when you complement another woman's child. Let's face it. Sometimes, making friendships is difficult. But, if you are friendly and genuine and get another mom talking about her kids, there you go! Just think about the times someone complemented your child and how you could not wait to tell her just how wonderful your child is!

4. There is a wonderful organization that is all across America called "Mothers of Preschoolers" or MOPS. This group of people offers childcare for a few hours while you get to fellowship with other mothers. They offer speakers on relevant topics such as pediatric care and women's wellness, as well as times to get to know other mothers. Get on their website and check it out. Anywhere you are in the US, you should be able to find a MOPS groups! www.mops.org

5. Always carry a pen and paper with you so you can jot down a new friend's telephone number or e-mail address and any relevant info on her like the names/ages of her child/children. Without this, you may have a great connection on one sunny day at the park, but then never see that woman again. Some people that I know have made up business-type cards on free websites like vista.com with their name and info. on it so it is easy to hand out. Whatever you choose, make sure there is an avenue to meet that new friend again for another play-date.

Tips & Warnings

• Friendships do not form themselves. As we well know, high school cliques are not just in high school anymore. There are definitely cliques in the mommy-world as well. There are the attachment parents and the parents who do not care what their child does as long as they are not in your hair. There are the home school moms and the moms sending their kids to school. There are those who breastfeed their children or bottle feed them.
• But, you will find other like you if you continue trying. Be honest. Be yourself. Remember, you are NOT in high school anymore and really should not be intimidated by other moms. But, we are. I know this. We have to remember that no two people are alike and no two moms are going to parent the same. We do not have a monopoly on parenting, nor do we have all the answers. With a little bit of effort you too will be able to find your meaningful connections so you are not feeling alone in the mommy-world. I guarantee it!

[harrisdy]

on 8/7/2009 great topic...