I have recently gone through the agony of finding out that my husband of 13 years has committed adultery. The pain is so real and intense that I wish it upon no one but I know that others are going through it everyday, the same as I did.
This article is to share my story on how I got through the pain that seems impossible to get past.
Earlier this year my whole world came crashing to the ground. I had suspicions that something was wrong, and so I did some digging, and found out that my husband was cheating on me with another woman. I confronted him, and he did admit it.
The pain was so intense I didn't think I would ever be able to "catch my breath" again. It felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest, smashed, swept up, and tossed into the trash right along side the vows we took, 13 years before.
First, I got my children to my parents before the confrontation took place. This was very important to me to get my kids away from the situation since that was possible for me. My initial break down was catastrophic to me, and I'm glad my kids did not have to see that.
Next, I cried so hard, I have never cried that hard before in my life. The pain was so deep. During the confrontation with my husband, we talked and talked and talked, as I cried. He was truly remorseful about the pain he caused me, but I honestly don't think he's all that remorseful about the cheating part.
After a few days of such extreme depths of pain coursing through my body, I was able to get up. My heart still felt like it was going to literally stop beating at any time. I do understand now, how someone can die of a broken heart, because I am amazed that I am still alive today to share my story.
I confided in my mom, she is my rock, she may think that she's not, but she truly is. She has supported me every step of the way and I appreciate that so much.
I found an online support group. For any situation of infidelity this site is so helpful. I recommend it to anyone going through a situation like this. It is: www.survivinginfidelity.com
The forums on this website have helped me, from the stages of intense pain, anger, to trying to reconcile, and ultimately the stage I am currently in: going through a divorce.
For anyone going through this pain, just remember that this too shall pass.
Keep yourself surrounded with support; whether it is with a family member, friend, or an online group similar to the one above. They can be there for you to help get you through this.
Keep the faith. My faith is what has kept me strong. I feel broken, but the lord has kept me strong. Strong enough to make it through the hardest times I have ever experienced.
Determination. You need to be strong for you! My husband did this to me, he destroyed me in every sense of the word, but he can not take away my determination. I am determined to get through this and make it to the other side for me and my children.
Tips & Warnings
- For everyone going through this, you're not alone.
- This too shall pass!
- Photo Credit Carrie Stanley