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Step 1
Don't compare your book as the next Da Vinci Code, or any bestselling popular book. Don't say that it is the definitive work of its nature. Just keep humble and don't think that you are going to be the next big thing.
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Step 2
Don't send gifts with your query or call attention to it with fanfare. You're not going to bribe them into accepting your work just because you send a giftbasket or something.
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Step 3
Don't look like a newbie. This means don't Fedex or overnight your query, don't say that you found them in a database or by googling "literary agent". Don't outright say that you have never been published or that you are sorry you're not published more. Be bold and confident, yet humble. Do not say that you have a great "fiction novel", all novels are fiction.
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Step 4
Don't include brightly colored paper or spray it with perfume. Don't use very large font.
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Step 5
Don't add things that they didn't ask for. Don't send sample chapters or clips if they don't specific them, don't send the manuscript if they are only asking for a writing sample, and don't just send them your whole manuscript without a query. If you do query and get the go ahead, make sure that your cover letter draws attention to the fact that they did indeed ask for it.
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Step 6
Don't leave out your contact information or the SASE
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Step 7
Keeping strict guidance to simple do's and don'ts will keep your querying in control. It will keep you from making simple mistakes that may cost you a chance of a lifetime. Querying a publication or agency doesn't have to be a guessing game if you breathe, read carefully their guidelines, and follow them to the letter.
