How to Recognize Signs of Cheating in a Relationship
Admit it: when your sweetie first started acting suspiciously, you came up with lots of creative reasons for the weird behavior. Meanwhile, the "C" word lurked in your brain as logical explanations fell away like a Jerry Springer intervention. You could hire a private investigator to follow the suspected cheater at a discreet distance, but why spend the cash on someone who could be stepping out on you? Instead, follow up on your suspicions with the help of this article. That stated, stay cautious. Just in case you're wrong, you might want to practice your apology while you nose around.
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Instructions
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Assess any changes in routine that might at first seem out-of-the ordinary. Is she suddenly spending lots of time with Mom despite the fact that they barely speak? Is he working huge amounts of overtime? Experienced cheaters know the ins and outs of creative scheduling, but when neophytes experience endorphin rushes associated with flirtations, they can get careless, so follow up on changes in routine to see if your suspicions have merit.
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Ask yourself whether the overly defensive reactions you're getting to your innocent questions of late are truly a sign that your loved one is cheating on you. Is he or she becoming more secretive? Does your honey abruptly end phone calls when you two meet up unexpectedly? Look for other jumpy, skittish reactions to everyday questions, encounters and situations as you gather your evidence.
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Look suspiciously at your significant other if he or she starts picking more fights than usual. Stress causes a state of hyper-alertness in people who have secrets to hide, but importantly, stalking out the door after jump-starting an argument can be camouflage for exiting your presence to meet the other honey. If a fight starts, don't aid and abet the cheater. Instead, practice the Zen of détente and if nothing else, you will drive the object of your affection further into the kingdom of guilt.
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Get to the heart of your beloved's sudden grooming and weight-loss obsession. Look suspiciously at wardrobe acquisitions--items that would never have found their way into his or her closet until recently. Those sexy bikini undies (his and hers), a sudden longing to teeter around on five-inch high heels (ditto) or jeans so snug you're concerned about long-term circulation issues all qualify as reasons to stay vigilant.
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Find out if Sweet Cheeks is actually studying advanced Russian at the local community college or preparing to take the bar exam with a new study partner. Conjure up an innocent test to check out their comings and goings. Learn a few words of Russian. Bring up landmark court cases like Roe v. Wade. See if such inquiries trigger a stammer. This tactic may not stop your loved one from cheating, but you could scare them enough to reconsider the stress under which they're living as a result of the subterfuge.
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Watch for computer screens that suddenly go dark when you enter a room. Perhaps your lover was just perusing an innocent porn site and wants to surprise you with some new moves. Perhaps not. If you detect new email addresses, screen names, little notes with strange passwords or--a real giveaway--if your partner suddenly comes home with a new computer despite the fact that he or she has been whining about an ongoing cash crunch, there's a chance he or she is surfing more than the internet.
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Think about extreme changes in cell-phone behavior you've observed of late. Has the object of your affection gone from the fastest draw in the West when that cell phone rings to letting calls languish in voice-mail purgatory? In particular, do you find yourself unable to reach them for long periods of time? Worst-case scenario--he or she has purchased a second phone. Stay alert for several types of ring tones 24/7.
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Pause to consider the reasons your once sex-crazed partner - or at least usually available partner - suddenly has no interest in doing the dance of the bunnies with you. Be particularly suspicious if flannel nighties, once reserved for flu days, appear or if he goes from nude to long johns -- with a robe on top -- especially if it's not winter. If you also unearth a fresh supply of "Tickle Me" condoms, add five points to your growing list of evidence.
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Maintain vigilance if your significant other develops an uncharacteristic hygiene obsession. Included in this category of telltale behaviors are: leaping into showers immediately upon returning home, sudden laundry fixations -- i.e., going from one load per week to one per day - or wearing enough heady cologne to incur the wrath of a corridor-full of office co-workers. On the other hand, have you unearthed evidence that suggests a lack of caution like cosmetics on clothing or hair that's not yours on a car seat?
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Be suspicious if your crabby honey gets sweet, considerate and kind (unless he or she had a near-death experience) for no reason. Conversely, stay alert if you suddenly find yourself the object of sarcasm, anger, abusive name-calling and other out-of-character treatment coming from your partner. At the most extreme, if you're asked whether you'd reconsider that threesome mentioned in jest months ago, you might want to head for the phone book and check into the going rate for a private eye.
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References
- Photo Credit IMSI stock photo
