How to Know if a Teen is Happy

According to a Harris poll, teens are more interested in obtaining happiness in their lives than achieving monetary success. Here are ways to evaluate if your teen is reasonably happy and headed in that direction.

Instructions

1. Are you happy?
   If parents are happy it is likely that their teenagers will reflect that happiness in their own lives. If parents are pressured, worried, anxious, the teen feels it. Teens may not openly express concern for parents directly, but you can see the signs of worry reflected in school performance, attitude and daily functioning.

2. Does your teen have satisfying friendships?
   According to polls 8 out of 10 teens rate themselves as at least somewhat happy. They report that love and support from friends and parents are the major contributors to their happiness.

3. How is body image?
   Teens report that looks are important in being accepted by others. One teen told me that if you look good, you have more friends. Parents' positive comments do influence how teens feel about their own looks. For example, if a mother puts herself down in front of her daughter, it is likely that the teen will adopt that pattern when talking about herself too. It is normal for teens to feel self-conscious about body image; however, obsessing about looks is harmful. Looking good and feeling good is a personal opinion, so teach your teen not to get too caught up in comparing to others.

4. Does your teen have future plans?
   Studies show that teens worry about their futures and what they are going to do after high school. Making plans for after graduation gives a teen something to work toward and look forward to. Having a future goal is a big motivator and gives a sense of security.

5. Does your teen have interests?
   Teens involved in activities other than school are excited and energized. Their self-esteem is positive. Teens who spend hours on the computer or in front of the television report feeling more lonely and isolated than teens who are engaged in interesting extra curricular activities.

6. Does your teen express opinions?
   When teens contribute to family discussions and are listened to and respected, they feel valued and that they matter. This contributes to feelings of positive self-worth.

7. Does your teen have regular downtime?
   Over-scheduled teens report more anxiety and often feel overwhelmed. They are likely to get burned out, which may lead to depression. Teens need balance between activities and schoolwork with time to unwind and rest.

8. Does your teen use alcohol or drugs?
   While it is possible that your teen will experiment with alcohol or drug usage, going beyond experimentation is a sign of underlying problems.

9. Do you have a good relationship with your teen?
   Teens who have a positive connection with their parents report being happier and more satisfied. They feel optimistic, safe and loved.