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Step 1
Determine with CERTAINTY that you want to leave
If it's apparent that your relationship is unhealthy, you have to decide with certainty that you will end it. It's very easy to retreat from your decision once you're faced with the fear and anxiety of actually going through with it. Because of this, you have to establish a plan, and let people know what you're going to do.
You need to make it clear to yourself that -- no matter what -- you're going to leave. When the moment comes, you may be vulnerable to manipulation, so make it a point to remember this promise to yourself. -
Step 2
Decide whether you can do it in person, or if it has to be done over the phone or through a note/email.
In a normal relationship, it would be rude to refuse to break up in person. In an unhealthy relationship, many time it's simply too difficult -- or possibly even dangerous -- to do it in person.
If your partner has a pattern of physical or emotional abuse, it's best to create some distance before letting him or her know. If you live together, this may mean leaving in secret, and even enlisting the help of friends to move you out while your partner is away.
If you're scared of your partner, or even just afraid that you don't have the courage to do it face-to-face, you can let them know by phone or email/letter. If you've been the victim of abuse, or if your partner is too volatile for a face-to-face breakup, you have nothing to feel guilty about. -
Step 3
Express your decision and move on
You need to clearly express your decision to your partner so he or she knows that the relationship is absolutely over. Tell him or her that you will have minimal contact, and ask that this decision be respected. Your ex may try manipulative tactics to get you back: Be unresponsive. It's very important that you maintain your separation; one slip-up, and you could find yourself back in the same unhealthy scenario.
Enlist the help of friends, your family, and support groups to get on with your life!
