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Step 1
Listen to, or at least read, the lyrics. Just as you can't judge a book by its cover, choosing a song based only on its title can make for a potentially embarrassing or erroneous big moment when you and your new spouse hit the dance floor for the first time as husband and wife. "I Will Always Love You" is a wonderful sentiment, but if you listen closely to the lyrics, the song is actually about a painful breakup. Since this is your wedding, "If I should stay, I would only be in your way" are not the first words you want echoing through your reception venue during your first dance. Similarly, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt is a lovely song, and again a nice sentiment...but the song is actually about a guy who sees the girl of his dreams in a crowd and realizes that they will never be together. If these or similar songs are so special to you and your spouse that no other song will do for the first dance, then try to find an instrumental version, or prepare for your guests to be looking on with raised eyebrows and confused looks.
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Step 2
If you're going for something a bit unconventional, briefly explain the choice before the dance. For instance, if you and your new spouse first fell in love at a Matchbox Twenty concert, explain that your wedding song was chosen because of that particular significance, and not because of the lyrics, especially if you're going with a song like "Push" or "Back 2 Good," both of which are fine songs that you can slow dance to, but lyrically aren't anthems of everlasting love. There's nothing wrong with being unconventional; the song should have meaning to you and your new spouse. But if you're going with something like the abovementioned songs or, as another example, "Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down, explain beforehand to avoid guests taking bets on how soon after the reception they'll be hearing that you've split up.
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Step 3
Consider the classics. Many of the old standards are some of the most wonderful love songs ever written. If you're not a fan of Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett, for instance, look for a more recent arrangement of one of these wonderful standards by an artist like Michael Buble or Harry Connick, Jr. Songs like "It Had to Be You," "Our Love Is Here to Stay," "I Only Have Eyes for You," That's All," "Just in Time," and "The More I See You" have all been recorded by many artists, from the Chairman of the Board to Michael Buble. The Michael Buble-Tony Bennett duet on "Just in Time" would be particularly fitting for a couple that wants to have fun showing off their dance moves to a jazzy, mid-tempo tune.
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Step 4
Accept that certain songs have no place in the mixed company comprised of extended family that often make up wedding reception guest lists. The majority of rap music today, for example, has excessive profanity in the lyrics, if not the title, and do you really want your grandparents and your Great-Aunt Martha wondering why you and your beloved are celebrating your marriage dancing to a song that talks about smacking women around, stealing cars, or blowing someone away, with every third word being a curse word? In this same vein, talk with the band or DJ and make sure they're clear that, no matter how many times your friends may request it, they are not, under any circumstances, to play such songs as "I Touch Myself," "Highway to Hell," or "Hot in Herre." Your friends may really want to hear these songs; for that matter, you and your new better half may really want to hear these songs. But unless the senior circuit has gone home, or they're very understanding about that sort of thing, a good rule of thumb for a wedding reception is that it's generally best to avoid any songs that have the potential to have any guests reaching for medication or passing out in shock, which can actually happen.
