How to Communicate With Your Teenage Son
If you are wondering who swapped your loving sweet-natured child for the moody boy in his place, then you most definitely have a teenager in the house. While parenting a teen has its challenges, being a teenager is far from easy either. Your son will be going through physical and hormonal changes that will confuse and frustrate him. When a person is frustrated, it is natural for him to take it out on the people closest to him. Communication is important, and can help ease the rocky transition from child to teenager.
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Instructions
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Listen to your teenage son. Many parents spend a lot of time talking to their teens or telling them what to do, without ever giving them the opportunity to talk. Your son is likely to be more open with you if he thinks you do listen to him when he talks to you. Ensure he has your undivided attention when he does approach you to talk. You cannot concentrate on him if you are doing something else at the same time.
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Set reasonable limits. Studies completed by psychologists' revealed teenagers who were monitored by their parents were much less likely to get into trouble or have issues with drugs or alcohol, says a 2005 U.S. Department of Education website article. Your son will appreciate boundaries, although he may not always think so.
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Make the effort to talk to your son about his interests and things that directly affect him. Ask him how he is doing at school, talk about his friends and show a general interest. These things are important to him and by showing an interest you are opening the lines of communication, says the 2003 Alabama University Cooperative Extension. This will help increase his confidence and improve relations between you both.
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Step away from the conversation if it becomes heated. If you feel like you are going to lose your temper or begin shouting, it is best to leave it until you have both calmed down. Screaming and shouting at him to make a point is a guaranteed way to shut down the lines of communication, warns the Alabama University Cooperative Extension. Waiting until you have both had a chance to regain your composure is more likely to lead to productive conversation. Remember, a conversation is a two-way street, so let him have his say.
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Be open, honest and direct when talking to your teenage son about the physical changes he is going through. Much of his frustration may be born from the fact he does not fully understand the changes in his body. Teenage boys in particular respond well to direct talk when discussing things such as changes in the body and sexuality, says a 2008 WebMD website article.
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Lead by example. As his parent, you are the biggest role model in his life and he will learn many of his social skills from you. If you easily lose your temper, have trouble communicating your feelings or do not listen properly when he talks to you, you cannot expect him to behave any differently. Treat your teenage son with the same respect you wish him to treat you.
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Tips & Warnings
Show him you trust him by allowing him some freedom. Knowing you trust him will not only give him confidence, he will also work hard not to lose your trust.
Acknowledge good behavior. It is all too easy to get angry if he has broken a curfew, while forgetting to acknowledge the times he has come home early. He is much more likely to follow your rules if he gets recognition for doing so.
Respecting his privacy is important. If you have concerns about his behavior, avoid reading emails or secretly monitoring him in a bid to find out what is wrong. Not only will this ruin his trust in you, it will replace important communication between you both.
References
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Comments
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Thanks, sometimes is hard to get get over the fact, teenage boys won't share as much with their moms than with their male figures. :( Thanks for the advice.
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Very good information for parents with sons.
