How to Have a Good Relationship With Your Mother-in-law

Having a good relationship with your mother-in-law is possible if you approach her with a positive attitude. Here are ways to begin.

Instructions

1. Treat your spouse well.
   That's her "baby" you married. No matter how happy your mother-in-law is about your marriage, she is slightly worried. She wants her child to be safe and taken good care of. Reassure her through words and actions that you love your spouse. Your mother-in-law is watching and she will pick up on any problems.

2. Give sincere compliments.
   Don't complain to your mother-in-law. Focus on positive contributions she makes. Tell her specifically what you appreciate. When she comes to visit make her feel welcome. Be friendly and let her know she is always welcome in your home.

3. Reach out.
   Show interest in her life. Ask about her interests. Extend a helping hand as you would to any family member. Let her know that you are happy to be a part of the family.

4. Give the relationship time to grow.
   Don't expect to feel comfortable right away. Your relationship with your mother-in-law develops slowly. If you answer the telephone when she is calling to speak with your spouse, take a few minutes to talk with her about what is going on. Share a tidbit from your day and ask about hers.

5. Let her spend time alone with your spouse.
   The one thing mothers-in-law say they miss the most is spending time alone with their adult child. Step aside once in a while so that they can be together. This will warm her heart.

6. Assume the best.
   This is the woman who raised the person you married. Even if she sometimes gets on your nerves, she has good qualities. Focus on those. Surely she must have redeeming qualities. You can build a case against mother-in-law if you want too, but that will only hurt your marriage.

7. Keep grievances to yourself.
   Do not talk badly to your spouse about his/her mother. Your spouse knows a parent's faults and it will only add tension if you point them out.

8. Keep her in the loop.
   Often, a mother-in-law feels pushed aside. Let her know that she is part of the family by keeping her posted on the exciting things happening in your family. Ask her advice about a subject she is interested in.

9. Side step the small stuff.
   All family members annoy each other occasionally. Don't make a big deal out of the little grievances. If she gives you a piece of advice or interferes in ways you don't like, find the humor and be cheerful. Learn to say, "I never thought of it that way, you might be right."