How to Exit Gracefully From a Tough Situation

Recently, I realized I needed to leave a group I had been part of for many months. I thought about how I could depart with a minimum of drama, and I did so last night. Here's how I exited gracefully.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• An aura of bravado
• A good plan
• Unpredictability - Surprise

1. 
    
   Sometimes leaving is the only way to escape a tough situation

   The most important first step is to realize when it's time to go. This applies to any number of groups you've belonged to - for example, a social network, a carpool or child-care arrangement, even a job. When you can no longer stand the thought of participating, it's time to leave. The goal is to exit gracefully, with no drama, which benefits you and every one else. Once you realize you need to leave, it's time to make a plan.

2. Planning-time! It's much better to have some strategy in place for exiting a tough situation, than just to storm out or make a scene. (I am reminded of Steve Carell's performance in The Office when he quits in anger). My recommended strategy for saying goodbye in any situation is to create a parting gift - or even a party, as you say farewell. I did this recently for a group I was leaving; I brought in food and beverages, and then left early. The "sting" of my departure was lessened by the "gifts" I had brought. I honored my group at the same time I was leaving it.

3. Leaving gracefully requires some unpredictability and surprise (a party or a parting gift), which you have spent time planning before exiting. It also requires a certain bravado and courage to depart. This occurs most often when you realize you've been taken for granted or not rewarded for your good work and good deeds. But saying goodbye to a situation that no longer works for you is a lot easier than you might think. It's actually empowering. If you can accomplish an exit with grace and good will, the door you've closed will soon lead to another one that opens.

Tips & Warnings

• Secrecy is vital. Do not telegraph your departure plans by telling anyone who might spread the word ahead of your exit.
• You don't need to spend a lot on a gift or a party. Visit the dollar store or the grocery bakery. Everyone loves a surprise - like free food!
• You don't need to announce an occasion for throwing a party or giving a gift. It's better if you don't. I gave my group a Gone with the Wind 70th Anniversary Party as a going-away present.
• Do not lose your temper or make snide remarks as you exit; this will only undo your good will
• Don't look back