How to Control Your Anger Problem

Anger is a very common emotion that usually materializes in response to a frustrating or upsetting situation. Individuals who get angry often, and who can't control their anger, are often said to have an anger management problem. An anger management problem is common among those who suffered an abusive or unhealthy childhood, or it could be the result of a mental issue or chemical imbalance. Many anger management problems are actually the result of mere immaturity, where the individual is perfectly capable, yet unwilling to control their nonsensical outbursts. An anger management problem that is attribute to immaturity can result from feelings of entitlement, jealousy, or even be caused by the angry individual's lack of desire to grow up and handle their emotions in an adult, civilized fashion. If you believe you have an anger management problem, but you don't know how to manage it, read on to learn how to control your anger problem:

Instructions

1. Give Yourself a Mental Time-Out

   An angry response to a situation can often be avoided by simply taking the time to stop and think about what is really happening. Instead of responding to the situation immediately, give yourself five minutes to assess the situation. When you feel your blood pressure beginning to boil, walk away. That five minutes alone will give you some time to calm down, relax, and think about how you should really respond, or if it's even worth responding at all. You can also practice breathing techniques during this time to help lower your blood pressure and clear your mind, which will help you approach the situation in a calm, mature manner.

2. Think Through Your Response

   Anger doesn't just affect the person feeling the emotion; it affects everyone around them who hears and sees their resulting behavior. Your angry words or actions can harm the people you care about most, and there's nothing you can do to take them back. Once you've stepped away from the frustration, thoroughly consider what your response will be. Just thinking about what you should say can significantly reduce the harm you cause those around you. If you're still angry when you're considering your response, then give yourself another five minutes alone, and approach the situation again. Even better, don't offer a response: just because something angers you, doesn't mean you need to provide your opinion on the topic. Responding can actually worsen your anger problem, and you are far more likely to lose control of yourself and your words if you allow yourself to be dragged into the situation. Exercise a little maturity, keep your mouth shut, and move on.

3. Get to the Root of Your Anger

   Consider exactly what could be causing your anger. Is it someone else's actions that annoys you? Is it the expression of another emotion you may be feeling, like jealousy? Whatever it is, if you can pinpoint what causes your anger problem, you can likely put a stop to it. For instance, if your child continuously pulls the cat's tail, and you lash out in anger as a response, try keeping the child and the cat in separate rooms to prevent it from happening again. Or, if you feel jealousy over your co-worker's raise and continued success, and you respond by ignoring your co-worker and spreading nasty rumors about them, try focusing on your job instead of worrying what those around you are doing. If you can get rid of the source of your anger, there's a good chance your anger will go right along with it.

4. Seek Professional Help

   Sometimes, an anger problem is the outward reaction to a much deeper emotional problem. Depression is one of the major culprits that often manifests as anger. Talking to your doctor or seeking the help of a psychiatrist can not only help you find what underlying issue is responsible for your anger problems, but can also give you new techniques to control it. Medication is often given to individuals with more complicated anger problems, which can help relieve the symptoms of their depression and allow them to control their anger problem. Seeing a therapist on a regular basis can also give you a safe, healthy outlet to discuss your anger issues, while sparing your friends and family from the harm you could be causing them.

5. Grow Up and Get Over It

   Anger problems in younger people are largely due in part to immaturity. Teenagers and individuals in their early twenties are the two age groups that have the largest problem with anger and immaturity. If you fit this age group, then it may be time to do some serious thinking. Perhaps you feel like you are owed something, and that's why you lash out in anger; or, maybe you feel life is unfair, because someone has something that you want, but can't seem to have. Understand that these are not valid reasons to get angry at anyone, and get over your immaturity. If you think you need help with these feelings, you also may want to consider seeking the help of a therapist, who can give you a neutral point of view, and help you work through your anger and immaturity problems.