How to Get Out of Having Sex With Your Boyfriend/Husband

Every woman has days when she just isn't in the mood for sex and has to explain to her boyfriend/husband why she is not going to be intimate with him. In this article I will list legitimate excuses that will allow you to be "sex-free" for the night.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Poker face

1. Too tired. An oldie but goodie. Tell your husband/boyfriend that you are just too tired.

2. Stomach ache. Tell your husband/boyfriend that your stomach has hurt ever since lunch. Ask him to go get you the Mylanta and pretend to drink some.

3. Migraine. Before bed, tell him that you are going to take some medicine because you have a migraine. This should be hint enough not to bother you for sex. You may even get a free neck massage.

4. Diarrhea. Make multiple frequent trips to the restroom. Let him know that you must have some kind of 24 hour bug causing diarrhea. If this doesn't gross him out than I don't know what will.

5. Menstrual Cycle. Tell him you just got your period and your having horrible cramps. The next day comment on how weird that spotting thing was because today you are without period. You can even comment on how you hope your not pregnant.

6. Pick a fight. Start by saying how much it bothers you that he leaves his dirty socks laying around or how he never hangs up his wet towels. Comment on how you do everything around the house and how he needs to help out more. Be creative. You know what to say to push your lovers buttons.

Tips & Warnings

• These tips are for the "occasional" excuse and are not to be used on a regular basis.
• Not being intimate with your spouse could lead to infidelity or divorce.
• If you find yourself constantly making excuses not to have sex with your husband you may want to think about deeper issues you have in your marriage.