How to Talk with your children about an upcoming Divorce

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By mattsaboy
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In this article I talk about the things that I would recommend doing with your children while preparing them for your upcoming Divorce. I am not a professional but I have been through a rough Divorce as a child and wish things were done different.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Love
Compassion
Resources for your children.
An open mind.
Patience

Step 1

The first thing you will need to do is talk with your current spouse and decide on when the best time is to sit down and talk with your children about your upcoming Divorce. Don't wait until the last minute because they need to become prepared for what's in store for them in the future. I was 9 years old when my Dad left a note on our car steering wheel and I was going to my Blue and Gold banquet dinner for Cub Scouts. My Mother opened the letter and began to sob and tell me we cant go to my Awards Dinner. When we went back into our house she told me and my Brother that Dad had left. We went into my Mothers room to find all of his things had been taken and he was no where to be found. We didn't hear from him for over a month. So its very important if you know you will be getting a divorce or separation to prepare your children. This needs to come from both Parents to show the children its not there fault. I blamed myself for many years and at such a young age I didn't know better.
Step 2

When talking with your children be ready for many questions. Most commonly asked is where am I going to live and why cant you just stay together. You should have all of these things worked out before you start your conversation. You should look for help from the school they attend to see if there are any support groups for children going through a divorce. You should also seek help from your Church or other friends that may have gone through this already with their children.
Step 3

Try not to discuss the divorce around the children since they have ears and things you may say may be taken the wrong way. Not only is this very difficult on you but imagine what a young child thinks who may not understand the word divorce yet. I know it may be difficult but you must try not to fight or argue around the children since this only triggers more feelings that it may be their fault for the divorce. Most of all make sure both parents are Loving and reassuring to the children and let them know this doesn't change the way you both feel about them.