How to Talk to Your Teenager Son or Daughter

teenagers=challengers

"I wish my teenager son (or daughter) would be gone until they are 18," said many a parent. Parents don't understand why their little Jimmy or Ashley would become little a big monster when they turn 13. Well, dealing with teenagers is indeed challenging. Even the best behaved ones would give you headaches from time to time. The following steps should help restore some peace at home.

Things You'll Need

• Patience, lots of
• Time

Instructions

1. 

   Understand:
   First and foremost, you must understand the psychology of adolescence. Teenage years are sandwiched between childhood and adulthood. Teens strive to be independent while in reality they are still depending on adults for support. Their psychology is one of contradiction and confusion. So don't take them at face value. Instead, try to understand and accept them as who they are.

2. 

   Listen:
   Teenagers are also humans. Like anybody else, they want to be heard and understood. Granted that you won't agree with many of the things that they said or requests that they make, still show your acceptance by listening. Your willingness as parents to listen to them is a sign of acceptance of who they are, which in turn will help them build up self-confidence and self-esteem.

3. Avoid the temptation of fighting with them:
   Teens are dying to get attention and they also want to prove that they are independent. Therefore, they constantly want to challenge you - their parents - and your authority. After all, if they can defeat their own parents, who have given them and taught them everything, they must be ready to take on the world. Teenagers constantly challenge your authority and push your limits. The worst thing that you can do is take the bait and start arguing with them. It doesn't matter if you're right, you will always lose at the end.

4. Be firm and gentle:
   Instead you stand firm on your ground rules but gently and politely explain to them what your position is. Repeat yourself if necessary. Remember not to argue with them, and not to be upset with them.

5. Be their friend but not their teacher:
   Although you as parents have all the right to teach your sons and daughters, they are no longer children and scolding won't work any more. Instead, discuss things and issues with them like friends. This way they will come to you when they have questions in the future.

6. Walk away if necessary:
   Sometimes it would be impossible to be nice and polite with teens, even for the most patient parents. When you feel like you're losing it, just excuse yourself and walk away. We are all humans and have temper. Try not to yell or scream at your teenage kids. No matter how strong they act on the outside, mentally they are still very vulnerable inside.

Tips & Warnings

• Take a deep breath and count to 50 when you feel like you're exploding.