How to manage Angry People during Communication

Communication is very important skill. We need to communicate in different situations of our life. In many situations, we need to adjust our strategy to get success in communication.
Communication with angry people is one of the most critical challenge for people. From experience, Sales persons know how much important it is to communication and manage an angry customer. Not only angry customer, every angry person, regardless of the relationship, need special care and technique to maintain the communication.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. General Discussion
   
   It is never very easy communicating with angry people and when we are faced with anger we often go on the defensive, understandably so because it feels like we are being attacked, verbally! Our instinct is to either lash out (fight back) or run away (flight). Sometimes flight is the best option, distancing yourself before saying something you might regret later. Or if the angry person is coming at you with a knife, for example, then running away is decidedly the best option!
   
   Getting angry with someone who is angry with you will only escalate the situation so it is best if you can deal with this as calmly and as assertively as possible.
   
   Your inner voice is critical here. Instead of thinking 'How dare this person speak to me like this', which will only make you aggressive towards them, it is far better to tell yourself to keep calm, that you can handle it.
   
   My own response to anger is to depersonalize it by thinking, 'Why is this person behaving like this? There must be a reason.' You need to keep an open mind as to what is causing that anger, trying to see it from the other person's viewpoint.
   
   When someone is angry it is not usually you they are angry with but the situation. Something has happened to make them angry. You need to deal with it before it escalates into a personal attack.

2. Get the right body language and inner voice
   
   Body language is critical here. Keep your posture as upright and open as possible, telling yourself, 'I can handle this, I can deal with this, I can keep calm.' Take slow breaths. Keep your eye contact on the other person and lean towards them. This takes courage. Mirror the other person's body language if you can but obviously if they are waving a fist at you it is not advisable to mirror this! What I mean is that if they are standing you should stand too, if they are sitting then sit down.

3. What to do next??
   
   Once you have got your inner voice under control and your body language right, listen hard to what they are saying. When people are angry they do not always express themselves clearly, in fact they rarely do. They let off steam. Allow them to do this and don't interrupt them. Let them have their say. You can never reason with someone until they have worked their anger out. When they have said what they needed to say then you can start asking them questions but before you do this summarize what they have said, stating the position as they see it. This enables you to check that you have fully understood the situation and shows them that you have listened. Keep your voice assertive, i.e. steady and controlled, neither shouting nor mumbling.

[Ladybugblue]

on 7/26/2009 Thanks for the article on communication! 5* & recommended!

[tesora]

on 7/25/2009 These are important points that we would all benefit from remembering in the heat of the moment.