How to Prepare for a Custody Hearing

When going through a custody battle, many people understandably let their emotions override their common sense. The steps provided below will explain how to handle a custody case properly and without any UNNECCESSARY stress.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A sane mind (as hard as it might be)

1. 
    

   Obtain A Lawyer. One of the major mistakes that a lot of people make in this situation is thinking that they can handle this by themselves because they are intimidated by legal expenses, they fail to see the seriousness of the situation or both. While there are a very small percentage of cases that can be handled without much lawyer interference, most custody battles are exactly that, "battles" and can get very vicious. Find a lawyer as soon as possible. Here are a couple of web sites that include state by state guides for lawyer information. They also include resources for the low-income such as legal aid and free legal help.
   www.public.findlaw.com (state by state)
   www.findlegalhelp.org (state by state)
   www.peoples-law.info (Maryland only)

2. Follow any court orders and/or petitions already in place. If there has already been a custody order established and you are trying to change it, you must follow the original until the modification takes place. Follow any restraining or protective orders put in place even if you feel that the allegations are untrue. You will have a period of time to dispute them before the order goes into effect, but once that order is in place you MUST follow it. Any deviations will result in a mark against you.

3. Unless you have physical proof as to why the other parent should not be permitted to see your children, DO NOT KEEP YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM THE OTHER PARENT!!!! If there is no existing custody order, it is understandable that you may fear the abduction of your children but DO NOT take it upon yourself to make your own custody arrangement. Ask your lawyer to try to get a temporary custody agreement until the date of the trial. If you feel you have a legitimate reason for why the other parent need be restrained from the children then your lawyer needs to be notified so that he/she may file the proper paperwork. After you enter into a custody case, any decisions you make MUST be made in accordance with the court.

4. 
    

   Do not make false allegations. During these custody disputes, many people focus on getting as much dirt on the other parent as possible and they use whatever resources they can to get it. Stick to the facts. If you have no proof leave it alone. If it is found out you are lying then you will be penalized. If you happen to get away with it you could possibly deprive your children of their other parent unnecessarily.

5. Keep the police calling to a minimum. Only call if you or your children are in danger of physical harm. You may be tempted to call the police, for example, if the other parent doesn't drop your kids off on time or not at all, but you are just wasting your time. While the police may try to give you advice on what to do, they can not help you and in some cases may make things worse. They do not have any authority over custody matters. If you or the other parent call the police in the attempt to remove the child from where they are staying the police cannot remove the child unless it specifically states on a court ordered document (i.e a restraining or protective order) that you or the other parent is not to have contact with the child. DO NOT let any police officer come to your door and try to persuade or threaten you to give your child up to the other parent without that COURT ORDERED DOCUMENT. Without it, all they can do is ask you to give the child up. If you say no, they have to leave.

6. 
    

   Last but not least, DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT! Make sure that you write EVERYTHING down and date the occurrence. Keep all receipts that are relevant to the case. Record any obscene phone calls (if permitted in your state). You can never write enough when it comes to a custody matter. Your lawyer will let you know what he needs and doesn't need. Its better to have too much than too little.

Tips & Warnings

• Custody battles can be very drawn out and can last for months. Unless there is proof that the child is in danger, you will not likely go to trial for at least six months so remember to do your best to stay sane and not do anything out of anger that might be held against you when it's time for you to go to court.
• If you can't get along with the other parent, steer clear of any unnecessary contact. Keep any conversations short and strictly on the children.
• If the relationship between you and the other parent is volatile, it is best to always have someone with you when it is time to pick up your children or give them up for visitation.
• Remember that anything you do during this period, whether good or bad affects the children. Do your best to keep them out of it.

[sharonrn]

on 7/30/2009 Very useful advice. Most people have no idea what to expect.

[llaurakrz]

on 7/26/2009 Very good advice.

[bellerose]

on 7/25/2009 Very complete, level-headed advice! 5*