How to Teach Your Child About Strangers

Teach your child to never accept gifts or candy from strangers.

The cliché that strangers lurk around every corner, seeking opportunities to kidnap children, has long been discarded. Most abductions happen at the hands of someone close to the child's family. But that certainly doesn't mean that strangers pose no danger to your child; on the contrary, strangers can and do kidnap, harm and assault children. Teaching your child about what a stranger is, how to handle a stranger and how to recognize a dangerous situation can greatly reduce the risk of your child being abducted or hurt.

Instructions

1. Teach your child what a stranger is. Your child may have a very dramatic idea of what a stranger looks like in her mind; she likely pictures a stranger as someone who looks scary, acts frightening and talks with a certain demeanor. Unfortunately, children don't realize that the most dangerous stranger is the one who can easily gain their trust because there's nothing obviously frightening about him. Explain to your child that a stranger does not look a certain way, and anyone your child meets on the street should be considered a stranger.

2. Warn older children to beware of strangers who seem "too" nice. Something may seem eerily perfect about them, and the stories they tell tend to make too much sense. Explain to your child that if something doesn't feel right about the person he is talking to -- or perhaps something feels too right -- the child should trust his instincts and walk away.

3. Explain that the child should never "help" an adult stranger. Naive children are often duped into "helping" strangers because they are raised to believe they should help anyone in trouble. Children don't yet possess the ability to tell a legitimate situation from a staged one. But what children can easily learn is that an adult would never ask a child for help with anything. Adults will always ask other adults for help, and children can ask adults for help, but an adult has no business asking any child he doesn't know for help with anything. If an adult asks your child for assistance with something, teach your child that this is a sign that something is very wrong, and it's time to seek help and get away.

4. Go over the common scenarios that strangers will use with children to gain their "help" and trust. These scenarios include help searching for a lost puppy (often with a leash in hand), needing directions somewhere, needing the child to help with a broken-down vehicle and looking at something inside the stranger's vehicle or home. These are all signs that the stranger is attempting to abduct the child, so remind your child that if an adult approaches her with any of these situations, the best thing to do is tell the stranger you can't help him, and run.

5. Tell your child to never accept anything from a stranger. Children, especially younger children, are often enticed by offers of free candy or toys. Explain to your child that it's OK to accept these things only when a parent is present with her, and you give her permission to do so. If a stranger ever offers your child anything when an adult is not present with her, she should never accept the offer. Also, teach your child to never walk away with a stranger, go into a house or another building, or enter a car with a stranger who promises a toy, candy or anything else. Tell your child to simply say, "No, thank you," and leave immediately.

6. Tell your child to find help if he feels scared. If your child ever faces one of these situations, he should be taught to seek help from the nearest trusted adult immediately. Simply walking away from a stranger who is intent on abducting or harming the child could cause the stranger to take pursuit, and render the child helpless. Tell the child who feels in harm's way to get to the closest "safe place" he knows, like a neighbor's house, school office or the police station. Even a well-lit and busy store is a safe spot for a child to enter and ask a worker to call the police.

References

• Baby Center: How to Talk to Your Child About Strangers