How to Survive an Extra-Marital Affair

It's possible to get past an extramarital affair.

You've heard the stat, and it's still accurate. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Among the chief causes of failed marriages are financial matters, religion and infidelity. An extramarital affair can cause irreparable damage to a spousal relationship, but it doesn't have to. Ideally, proactive steps should be taken to affair-proof a marriage; however, if it does happen, there are ways to survive it and restore the love and trust after an extramarital affair.

Instructions

1. Deal honestly with yourself and your spouse. Admit to having the affair before being caught. Admission is a sign that you know what you're doing is wrong and that you want to change the behavior. Allow time and space for the betrayed spouse to react to the hurt. Don't blame the betrayed spouse for your behavior. Reach a mutual agreement on whether the marriage is salvageable.

2. Agree on either a faith-based counselor or a credentialed psychotherapist and participate in therapy. Enlist a trusted couple to confide in and to turn for support. Identify married friends who will reserve judgment and maintain confidentiality. Be willing to answer questions about and openly discuss your infidelity.

3. Accept radical change. To restore trust, your interaction with members of the opposite sex will need to be limited. Be completely transparent; understand that you have to earn trust. Be prepared for scrutiny. Your spouse will be curious about how and what you communicate with others. Disengage from social networks and other risky interaction until both parties are completely comfortable. Devote yourself completely to the restoration of your marriage by being physically and emotionally present, checking in with your spouse frequently.

Tips & Warnings

• Suggestions listed here are not intended to substitute for clinical intervention.

References

• Steps to recovery from infidelity
• Surviving an Affair

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish