How to Help Suicide Survivors

Member

By Norma Erickson
User-Submitted Article

Article Rating: (11 Ratings)

Pain of Loss

Every fifteen minutes, someone commits suicide. This leaves behind thousands of suicide survivors facing all of the denial, anger, depression and feelings of loss that typically surround death, compounded by feelings of guilt, rejection, and the post traumatic stress disorder associated with the sheer violence of the act. A suicide survivor faces a long road to recovery, full of pitfalls and setbacks. Some say they never fully recover from the emotional scars; but there are things you can do to help them make those scars smaller and less painful.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Understand they face a unique type of grief. Keep in mind, a suicide survivor has all of the feelings associated with a loss plus a lot more. They probably feel personally rejected by the person who committed suicide and guilty because they could not stop it. If they witnessed the suicide, or were the first on the scene, they may face all of the symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).
Step 2

Listen with your heart. Survivors of suicide will rant, rage, get hysterical, withdraw into their own world, or exhibit any number of behavior patterns even they would normally consider bizarre. Let them-just listen. Remember they are only doing whatever it takes to cope with their situation at the moment.
Step 3

Avoid making judgments. The last thing a suicide survivor needs to hear is how crazy or unbalanced their lost loved one may have been. They don't need reminders about how dysfunctional their relationship with the deceased may or may not have been. Resist the temptation to offer judgmental statements as a means of consoling survivors.
Step 4

Exhibit compassion. Compassion is not just feeling their pain-it's doing something about it. If they need to talk, listen. If they need to listen, talk. If they aren't eating properly, treat them to dinner. If they need to rage, be there and give them a safe place to vent.
Step 5

Respect their need to mourn. At various steps along the way, all survivors need to grieve. Some need someone there, others need time alone. Whatever they need, respect their wishes and allow them time to grieve in their own way.
Step 6

Be there. Many times, the only thing a survivor needs is to have someone walk the path with them. Don't lead and try to pull them toward recovery, or stand behind and push them. Just walk beside them and be strong for them.
Step 7

Help them locate support groups. Frequently, the best therapy is having the ability to talk to people who have been through the same situation. Some helpful links are listed in the resource section to get you started.